Murder, Talk no Jutsu and Other Easy Solutions

Pointless Introductions and Kakashi's Personal Hell

Kakashi shunshin'd onto the roof the second the seal wore off, still covered in paint, feathers, ink and glitter. He had managed to regain his eyesight, but he still looked like a walking catastrophe. He glared down at the five people he was being forced to work with.

"Next time, don't cover me in paint and glitter for the hell of it.", he told them dangerously. The pink haired one at the back of the group glared back.

"Next time don't be late.", she shot back. Kakashi was taken aback by a Genin barely out of the academy having the balls to talk back to him. Intrigued, he craned his neck to get a better look at the person behind his predicament, and he felt his breath hitch.

The pink one wasn't some snot-nosed preteen like the rest of her minions, she was a full-grown woman. A full grown woman with a beautiful face, pretty lips, legs for days and enough cleavage to suffocate a man. Kakashi had never been more grateful for his mask, since it covered his blush, and then it hid his horror seconds later when he realized oh kami, this was his student.

He was doomed.

"Noted.", the white haired man managed to say as he took a seat near the edge of the roof. He forced his gaze away from the gorgeous woman who had covered him in glitter and gave his other students a once over.

Naruto and Sasuke looked as expected, except Naruto had traded out his orange jumpsuit for a much more tasteful outfit of a black jacket and mesh shirt. Kakashi's heart ached a bit. He looked so much like his father.

Sai was pretty normal; short black hair and black eyes, with his only defining physical feature being his ridiculously pale skin. He didn't look a thing like Mizuki, but that could be chalked up to him being adopted or taking after a different parent. He wore a cropped black top with a black mesh undershirt and black ANBU pants, and his leaf headband on his forehead. He was giving Kakashi a disturbing fake smile. The Copycat Ninja shivered. It reminded him of the smiles Tenzo would try to force; it was the smile of someone who barely understood emotions.

Mizuki was as he had appeared in his file, though, he wasn't wearing the standard flak jacket, instead trading it out for a black muscle shirt, black ANBU pants and a white hooded jacket that he only half-wore, with the top of it hanging off of his shoulders. His headband was worn around his neck.

Mizuki was sitting to the right of the pretty pink haired lady he assumed was Maria instead of with him, as a normal 'teaching assistant' would. Kakashi had no idea why he would agree to follow these little monsters out of the academy, but it was clear he was firmly sided with the monsters against him if his seat placement and reaction to the prank was anything to go off of. Kakashi resisted the urge to groan. He was alone against three evil preteens, their Chunin enabler and their seductive leader. Gods help him. Kakashi forced a closed-eye smile, as he decided it was time to introduce himself.

"Alright, I think it's time we all introduce ourselves.", he said in a faux-cheerful tone. Sai tilted his head at him.

"And how should we do that, sensei?", he asked. Kakashi kept smiling.

"Here's an example; I'm Kakashi Hatake. I'm a big fan of minding my own business, my favorite food is up yours, and my favorite movie is stop asking stupid questions.", the man said sarcastically. Sai blinked in confusion.

"I've never heard of that movie.", he said genuinely. Kakashi felt his eye twitch. Maria crossed her arms and smirked at him.

"Haven't you heard you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?", she asked, subtly asking him to stop being an asshole. Kakashi narrowed his visible eye at her.

"And you don't catch any flies with paint, and yet here I stand, covered in it.", he sassed. Maria glared back at him.

"You got covered in paint because you were late. That's your own fault.", she responded. Kakashi's eye twitched again.