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10. tremors
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Laena cannot stop her fingernails from drumming against Dushane's marble countertops, nor can she stop the aching in her chest or the trembling in her hands.
She knows that every second they waste poring over Sully's fate means that he will be less likely to have one, and the thought scares her - terrifies her to the core.
Laena cannot imagine a world without Sully in it and though she'll never admit it, a demented piece of her tucked deep inside her soul tells her that a world without Sully would be like sun coming out from behind a cloud.
She would be free.
But if being free means losing Sully forever then Laena shall yearn to be in chains for eternity. She shall not complain when they hurt her wrists and rub against her sides - she will take it all with her head held high.
Losing Sully means losing her pride, her happiness. She knows it's not healthy to become so dependent on someone so quickly, but with Sully everything is different. With the life he leads, she does not have time to double back on her approach.
Laena feels really fucking shitty.
She wishes she had pried deeper into why Pebbles was staying there, already being wedged too deep in this life to get out, it wouldn't of mattered if she'd gotten involved in Pebbles business, maybe then she could've guided her.
It makes no difference, Dushane keeps telling her, you couldn't have stopped it. But she knows what he really means, how he really feels. She's sure he wants to wring his hands around her neck, especially Pebbles. She knows he finds her to be just as fault, sure of the fact that she helped Pebbles set up her own uncle.
It's ridiculous what losing a brother can do to a man, the accusations they begin to spit; blinded by rage and anger and fury and pain.
Laena's seeing everything in a new light; it's like she's being re-born again, entering a new world where she knows how all its mechanisms work, all the right buttons to press and push.
Jaq says she's gaining a wider conscience, no longer being so naïve to the world surrounding her, treading the waters freely.
Pebbles stands then and all Laena can see is red.
"You're scum," she seethes, fingers pointing in Pebbles face, "he tried to help you."
"And I thought I was helping my uncs back," Pebbles screws her face at Laena. "I didn't know they would fucking do all that to him, did I?"
Dushane kisses his teeth, not fooled by Pebbles antics as Jaq enters.
They all look up at her expectantly, calling a ceasefire.
"We found him," Jaq says, solemnly, and Laena feels her beating heart begin to halt.
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author's note: we r moving sosososososo fast, i'm awareeeee i'm sorry. it's ok dw go read my modie fic btw it's lowk jamie 2 i cba anywayyy that's not the point bc basically i literally have no clue what this chapter is like it doesn't make sense 2 me but yolo i'm sure u guys will eat it up
yk the drill - thoughts?????
also cn u tell tht im running out of title odead lolololol
edit: guys i reread this and its soooo digusting but i cba but next chapter slays i promise but this is bullshit literally the product of me not being bothered to do my hw and instead writing this bs BYE im done. i refuse 2 read my own writing anymore. i am not looking 4 compliments btw i am speaking my truth. Bye.
