Bet We Could Make Some MORE (History Huh?)

6: 100% Fine (Alex)

Tuesday afternoon, when he's supposed to be in the campaign office, Alex is sitting in the old familiar room of his therapist's office.

"It's been a long time, Alex. I was worried you were never coming back."

"Well, here I am." Alex, casually as possible, spreads his arms over the back of the couch, trying to hide how nervous he really is. He hasn't felt this uncomfortable in this office since his first visit.

"I was a bit worried when it was Henry who called me that you still didn't really want to come here. Or that you wouldn't show." Al is a gentle soul, he doesn't mean it judgmentally, just inquisitory.  His usual scruff has grown out a bit longer into a neatly trimmed beard, and as always he has on one of what Alex thought of as 'grandma sweaters'.

"Well, as you know, I've been really busy. Campaign, wedding planning." He's said it so many times now they were starting to sound like just excuses even to him.

"Yes, I did catch your special, yesterday morning. Your wedding on live TV— was that your idea?"

"Yeah, I'm really excited for it actually. About what it's going to mean for all the young queer people watching to have proud, openly gay role models getting married on national television. They're playing it in Britain too actually."

"And Henry?"

"He feels the same way."

"I don't just mean the wedding. How is Henry? He sounded very worried on the phone."

Fuck. "What did he tell you?"

"He's concerned about you. He says you haven't been sleeping well. Or eating much. He told me you two discussed it last week, and that you seem to be doing a bit better."

"Did he complain about how I hadn't fucked him in months?"

Al gulps. He had taken a bit to get accustomed to Alex's vulgar mouth, but seemed to have gotten used to it over their time together. Alex guesses it has been a few months since he had heard it.

"No, that he didn't mention. He didn't go into details, just listed his concerns. However, that is interesting, and frankly worrying to me, considering how... passionate your intimate life has always been."

"I thought you told me you never read our emails." Alex gives him a sly smile. "Well I took care of that over the weekend. And as you said I'm doing better. I heard him. I don't want to worry him, that's why I'm here."

Al leans back in his chair, "I remember when you first started coming to me. You didn't want to be here, I could tell you weren't comfortable. You spoke about how you were doing it for him, for Henry. But then, I saw you start to shift. Over the last two or so years when we saw each other regularly, you seemed to start to... appreciate, maybe even enjoy, having a place where you could speak freely, without worrying about how your issues would affect Henry's mental health, or using this as a space to talk about how you feel about Henry's mental health. You trusted me. Today, it feels like you have built your walls back up. You don't want to let me in."

Alex can feel his veneer start to crack. He wants a drink.

"What are you hiding, Alex? What don't you want me to see?" Al is looking right at him. Alex turns away.

"Nothing! I just... need to get back to work. I'm busy, I'm stressed, I don't have time for this."

"When you're stressed is exactly when you need this most, you know that by now, Alex." He speaks calmly and slowly even as Alex's volume and speed increases.

"I can handle it. I just need to work."

"What you need to do is slow down, just for this hour, and talk to me." Al always seemed like a softy, but he could stand firm with Alex when he needed to. Alex had always appreciated this; he needed someone to be tough on him sometimes because it's what he responded to best. But today, he doesn't want to hear it. "Maybe it's time to consider some medication–"