The Human Bowel

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Episode One: The Yankee Dodge


Episode One: The Yankee Dodge

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Fanny Fox was livid.  She wanted desperately to marry, to be in love, to have the chance to say that she was loved.  This was why she was murmuring profanities about her two sisters as she marched up to her older sister, Elizabeth's room.  Both of them, especially Elizabeth, refused to marry a man for the sake of political gain.  Every suitor, near and far was lining up to court the three Fox sisters, but Elizabeth and the eldest, Belle, weren't having it.  Especially because most suitors were snobs that only cared for themselves and their position in the societal hierarchy. 

Fanny wanted to berate her sisters, as the society's rule was that sisters must get married oldest to youngest. What she saw when she opened the door stopped that intent immediately. 

"Don't do that!" She screamed.  Her two sisters, one in a plague doctor mask, turned towards her.  The eldest, Belle, chuckled as she took off the frightening mask as the middle sister laughed.  

"What?" The brunette asked.

"Whatever that is."  The youngest said in disgust.

Elizabeth scoffed.  "You stormed in on us, Fanny."

The red head ignored her, wrinkling her nose. 

"What is that ungovernable stench?!"

Belle smirked, firing back a 'your perfume'.  Elizabeth gently nudged her before walking across the room.  "No, it's ether.  The new Lancet reports the most extraordinary thing.  You can give a patient ether and they don't feel anything.  You can perform surgery without pain!  Don't you understand, Fan? This changes everything! It will revolutionize medicine!" 

Fanny just rolls her eyes, uninterested, while Belle looks at her sister with a smile. 

"Oh my God, so interesting," the ginger said with faux enthusiasm.  "Come!  The Honorable Mortimer Smales is soon to arrive and there is much to do."

Belle furrowed her eyebrows as she helped Elizabeth braid her hair and tie it into a bun.  "Remind us of this Honorable Smales."

Eliza nodded, clearly already unimpressed. 

Fanny widened her brows.  "Eliza! Bells! He just sailed four months from England to get here!  Di you know how much effort it takes to get potential suitors to Australia?"

The strawberry blonde snorted.  "I am far too busy to meet someone named Mortimer."

The youngest sister groaned.  "You two both need to hurry up and get married so I can-"

"Engage in what the wedding service so delicately calls 'sexual union'?"
Both sisters chimed in unison.  Fanny brushed it off, used to the two oldest being on the same page. 

"You two are so vulgar.  Eliza, this is the sixth suitor you have sent away and Belle you are on your tenth.  El, what was wrong with the last one, Sir Jeremy Glasscock?"

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