Troian Bellisario: Just Me & My Girl

Who's Your Daddy?

*The Next Morning*
Troian's Pov

I awaken to my bed shaking. I open my eyes and groan, seeing what it was from.

"Aspen what are you doing?" I ask my daughter.

"I'm jumping on your bed!" She exclaims as she jumps. Aspen's long hair bounces with her, and she grins from ear to ear.

"It's not even 5:30 in the morning, you should still be asleep." I tell her, rubbing my eyes.

"But I'm not tired mommy!" Aspen says happily.

I sigh "Well, we were gonna get up at 6 because we have to go to set, but I guess 5:30 will have to do." I pull the blankets off and get out of bed, stretching and yawning.

"And please don't jump on my bed." I say "Or anyone's bed, for that matter." Aspen stops jumping and gets down, then hugs my legs.

"Good morning, my princess." I say as I pick her up. She hugs me, smiling.

"Shall we go get you dressed?" I ask Aspen.

"We shall." She replies as I smile. It's a thing Aspen and I have said to each other since she could talk. I say the 'shall we' part, and she says 'we shall'. I have videos of her saying it when she was just a year old. It's adorable.

We go to Aspen's room and get her dressed, then I go back to mine and do the same. Since we now have extra time, I make waffles, sausages, and fruit salad. Aspen and I sit down at the table and start to eat.

"Mommy?" Aspen asks, setting her fork down "Do we have whipped cream?"

"I'll check." I get up and go to the fridge, finding the bottle of whipped cream. I give it to Aspen, and she pours it all over her waffles, grinning as the whipped cream piles up on her plate.

"Okay, I think that's enough Aspen." I laugh "You'll use the whole bottle." She stops pressing the nozzle and sets the bottle down.

"I really love whipped cream." Aspen says. I chuckle.

"I can tell." I look at the mountain of creamy foam on Aspen's waffle.

After eating breakfast, I get Aspen's bag packed for today on set, as well as my own. Since we still have 20 minutes until we need to leave, I decide to do something I've been wanting to do for a while.

"Aspen?" I call "Can you come here for a minute?" She comes running toward me, smiling. I pat the spot on the couch beside me, and Aspen climbs up.

"I'd like to talk to you about something." I tell her. She gazes expectantly at me with her blue eyes, so I begin talking.

"I'd like to talk to you about your dad." I say. Her eyes widen.

"Who is he?" She asks excitedly.

I sigh "That's not what I mean. I don't know who he is. I just wanted to apologize for not knowing." I know she said before that it was okay, but for some reason, it's starting to bug me more and more. I don't know what to do other than say sorry to Aspen.

"Oh," Aspen says "That's okay, remember mommy? I said I don't need a dad."

I nod "Yeah, I remember, I just want you to know that I wish things could've turned out differently with your dad and I." Aspen looks confused.

"Who is my daddy?" She asks. I sigh, knowing she thinks I actually know who he is.

"Aspen, you know how some people fall in love, get married, and have kids?" I ask. Aspen nods, waiting for me to continue "And then sometimes, they fall out of love, and they don't want to be married anymore."

"Like Eliza's parents?" Aspen asks, talking about one of her friends.

"Yeah, exactly like that!" I say "And you know Eliza spends half the time at her moms house, then the other half at her dads?" Aspen nods. I prepare myself for what I brought this divorce topic up for.

"Well, I bet you might be wondering why you don't spend half the time at your dads house, when that's what a couple of your friends have to do." I say. Aspen shrugs.

"Well, I guess I kinda wondered a little bit." She admits "But Eliza and Peyton's mommy and daddy lived together before. You never lived with my daddy, did you mommy?" I wince, not realizing that Aspen has given this thought before. I hate that she had to.

"No," I choke out "I never lived with your daddy." Aspen looks heartbroken. It does the same to me.

"Mommy, remember how you said people fall in love, get married, then have a baby?" Aspen asks. I nod.

"How did you fall in love, get married, and have a baby if you never lived together? Eliza's mom and dad lived together, but then they moved into different houses after they got a...a...what's that thing called when you're not married anymore?" Aspen asks.

"A divorce." I say.

"Yeah! A divorce!" She exclaims "When did you and my daddy get a divorce?" My throat goes dry.

"Your dad and I never got a divorce." I say shakily.

"Wait..." Aspen says confusedly "So you're still married to my daddy?"

I shake my head "No," I start "Your daddy and I were never married." Aspen looks confused.

"But how do you have a baby if you're not married?" Aspen asks.

"Two people can have a baby if they're not married. I know that getting married before you have kids is the most common thing, and that's why you think that if you're not married you can't have kids, but that's not true. People can still have a baby together if they're not married." I say "And your dad and I weren't married." Aspen looks as if she's processing it all, but I just hope she doesn't ask why we weren't married.

"But why weren't you married?" She asks. I should've seen that one coming.

"Well..." I start, preparing myself for what I was about to say "Your dad and I never fell in love, so we never got married." Aspen looks so upset that I have to look away.

"But..." She stutters "But how did you have a baby if you didn't fall in love with him?"

"Aspen, I'd love to explain it to you, but not right now. When you're old enough and you understand this type of stuff better, I'll tell you everything, I promise." I say guiltily. But it's not like I can tell her that I had sex with a stranger after drinking too much, and that's when she was conceived. I just don't know how to say that I have no clue who her father is. She won't understand that I had a one night stand, and it's not like she even knows what sex is. I just wish there was some way I could tell her, without actually telling her.

"But mommy," Aspen says "I'm a big girl."

I chuckle "Yes you are, but you're not quite big enough to understand some things. One day though, Aspen."

"Okay," She sighs heavily. I smile at my beautiful little girl, who isn't really so little anymore.

"Hey Aspen?" I ask her.

"Yeah mommy?" She replies.

"I want you to know something," I start "I want you to know that no matter who you have in your life, you'll always have me. Your dad may not be in our lives, but maybe it's that way for a reason. I love you so much my little Aspen Marie, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Aspen hugs me, smiling. My sweet little girl is my entire world, and I don't know what I'd do without her. She's the best gift I could ever ask for.

"I love you too mommy." Aspen says.