Kaiser of the New World

Guilty conscience (66)

Kai felt sick.

No, he was sick.

Keeling over a pool of his own vomit, the revolting stench of the disgusting liquid invaded Kai's nose, threatening to make him add to the puddle once more.

Kai stayed completetly still, worried that if he moved at all he would throw up again. He closed his eyes, hoping to forget everything he just heard.

I'm... an asshole.

The whole time, he was under the assumption that when Sofia said that Noelle went through a lot that the pale woman just meant that Noelle had a few dead family members, not... that.

Parents blown up, anti-hero uncle, nearly getting raped when she was fifteen, finally finding someone she loved only for him to be snatched away and to top it all off, a second-in-command who was the puppetmaster of all those problems.

A puppetmaster who still hadn't let go of the string tying himself to Noelle.

A few minutes passed as Kai tried his hardest not to spew, which ended up with him being successful. He managed to keep the remaining drink inside him and not on the ground, yet he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

Slowly bringing himself to his feet, Kai started making his way back to his grass bed and tree root pillow under the cherry blossom.

As he trudged along tiredly, his thoughts couldn't help but race a million miles an hour.

Even if he wanted to make up with Noelle, which he wasn't sure if that was in his or even her best interests, he had no way to go about doing it.

Noelle was surely asleep by now, meaning Kai wouldn't even be able to talk to her. And tomorrow was going to be the most dangerous day of their lives thus far.

Well, maybe for Kai, he still didn't comprehend how truly perilous Noelle's situation was before The Flashing.

In all honesty, Kai couldn't even begin to fathom what a life like that would have been like. Locked in a cell for over half of the time you've been alive, what would that do to a person?

Noelle didn't even get to experience her teenage years bar the time she must have spent with Gabriel. Sofia didn't say how long she spent with him, but Kai had a feeling it wasn't actually that long.

How Noelle had preservered through all that, Kai would never know.

Sure, Noelle might not have been the greatest person, but who would be if they went through that? All of that had to mess with a person's mind to an insane degree. Honestly, it was probably a miracle that Noelle wasn't some murderhobo who killed anyone that looked at her the wrong way.

But even if she wasn't great, Kai still felt guilty. He was a weak willed person after all. Noelle saved him multiple times, yet he had never done anything for her in return.

That was another thing, Noelle was always helping Kai even after all that she went through. She definitely didn't have to, why would she? She hardly knew Kai, yet she still saved him. That left Kai with only one idea as to why.

She really did want someone she could trust.

Sofia was right, Noelle was broken. She had been slowly chipped away at throughout her youth and was on the verge of shattering. She needed someone to be her glue.

Kai knew he was most certainly not the right person to act as the glue, but he wanted to at least try. He owed her that much after all she had done for him.

Once he made it back under his tree, Kai closed his eyes and tried his hardest to fall asleep.

Only his thoughts wouldn't let him.