I'm a kind who speaks a lot less than i think. hoarding so many words and world's for so long now I want to let down. maybe cause the end is near
or maybe i'm.
11:05 You have a different type of hate a kind i can never understand nor can address but I know it's there i know it's there. Like a dead butterfly laying on the window panel. Like a dry strand of wheat grain being carried by the wind. It's there when you talk to me or when you call out my name when we together It's sitting right in your voice. Feels like the sting of ant bites, one at a time and when you say “joelll” i flinch i can't comprehend that undertone anymore but aren't you the one who I say I know the most? I wonder how much of suffering the world has poured upon you and maybe when I say the world i point out to me too .You don't like me now. I'm not very particularly sad about that. I also don't. Sometimes even more than you but we were supposed to something else and you aren't even here at this time. You're nothing like you used to. And I know neither am I. We aren't anywhere similar to how we used to be And I'm not used to being used to that, I'm sorry
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You laugh and smile You are the coolest person with everyone else But when you talk to me you keep on trying to do something i don't have a word for and i admit it I am the one who ran away And left you with your burning forest But how could I've possibly helped you then when i myself was out of water or any other help.I tried to tho and I lost all my grown trees and dormant seeds to you Rather i could have caused a forest fire if i would have been there for you And now I know you hate me You will always do But I wish now was the time I could have met you, it would have been somewhat a castle in the sky Wish we can go back to us Running around swaying hands I know you from every crook and corner I know your complete shell. But maybe it's been removed or you've painted it a different paint You have always been good at painting things a different shade
How can you behave like you never knew me? I mean that makes no sense to me, to love me so much but just for the people. Why is it that you're always on my side only when we're in front of everyone and vanish when the party gets over? Where are you now? Where is my pelican flown now?
