I'm a kind who speaks a lot less than i think. hoarding so many words and world's for so long now I want to let down. maybe cause the end is near
or maybe i'm.
09:57 I used to be overly insure about the saddness that had enveloped me since my beginning. Specifically over the last few years I used to think that I'm am extremely pathetic and would never ever even have the chance to look at life normally. And maybe if anyone asks me about my personal view,now, on my own failure to live life like a normal person, i would maybe just laugh at their face and turn away. I've been getting beneath my flesh since last year, the one which was burning and tearing off and whose maintenance was long overdue but in this process ,which when first set out was giving me hope of actually getting to like the things inside me, I've come to hate myself more. It's like the more deeper I go the more disgusted i become not even disgusted I'm frightened of the things inside me. My dual nature is scary.
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And honestly I've come to a conclusion that i might as well am obsessed with sadness, i can't picture myself anywhere without it. No matter if I think about what has already happened or what is about to or even what's going on at the moment i could never imagine myself without an unique and ugly orangish undertone of saddness. It won't ever go away. I don't like any shade of orange Cause no matter how much I try i can't peel this orange away.
