Fighting the Stars - A Jack Harries Fanficton

Chapter 11

“I shouldn’t have kissed you.” repeated Jack. He stepped back, rethinking what he had just done, and plopped down on the piano bench. Billie Holiday was still playing in the background. 

“It’s fine,” The words stumbled out of my mouth uncomfortably. Jack rubbed the palms of his hands down is face. He then glanced up at me, his eyes uncertain.

“I’m sorry, Sophie.” he said. “I didn’t mean to - “

“It’s fine,” I repeated, breaking him off. It seemed as though we both had our own internal battles raging on within us. 

I’ve heard people say that they lose themselves in a kiss. But in that moment, it was the opposite for me. I felt like I found myself. Not how I wished I was, or who I was afraid I was becoming, but who I really was. And I can’t decide if that terrifies me or not.

“I should go,” he said, looking around frantically and pushing himself off the bench.

“You can’t just kiss me and walk away,” I said, stepping in front of him. He bit the inside of his lip. “We need to talk,”

“Then talk,” he said, growing impatient. I looked at him in disbelief.

“You kissed me, Jack! You should be the one explaining yourself!” I demanded, pointing my finger at him.

He let out a sigh and ran his fingers through his tousseled hair. “I’m sorry, Sophie.”

“Why? Why did you do it then?” I asked, my voice yearning for an answer.

“I had to know what it was like,” he confessed. “I know you still have a boyfriend, and I respect that. No one has to know about this. We’re still friends, right?”

Friends. Such a foreign word, yet so familiar. 

“Yeah, of course.” I said, my voice near breaking. Little did he know that he’s the only friend I even have at the moment.

“Good,” he said. He glanced from his feet to my eyes. “I’ll talk to you later,”

With that, I watched him grab his phone and speakers and walk out the door. I stood dumbfounded in the center of the room, still trying to wrap my brain around what happened. Jack kissed me, he kissed me. And the most confusing part is, I let him.

**

James helped me load my suitcase in the back of his car. He stuffed it in tightly, filling the entire trunk next to his. I got in the passenger seat and buckled my seat belt, James doing the same from the driver’s side.

He looked dashing today, his chocolate colored hair gelled and quiffed to the side. He wore a proper flannel shirt and dark jeans, making sure to be dressed casually yet appropriately when meeting with my parents. The sun shined on his face, making his olive skin glow. It’s not wonder why I fell in love with him in the first place.

If I was going to have to talk with my father, at least I would have James there. He always seems to be able to keep my dad in a happy mood. Besides, the fact that I’m obeying him by being with James gives him some essence of satisfaction with me. It lets him know that I’m not a complete failure. 

I remember the first time I met James, a dinner party just at the beginning of summer. Our families joined together for a prestigious dinner in the Hadsbury’s courtyard. James and I were introduced by our parents and were immediately attracted to each other, a stroke of luck I suppose. A week later we were informed that we would be getting married when the time was right. 

Telling a seventeen year-old musician who she is going to marry is just asking for trouble. But, you see, I didn’t care. I liked James, I really liked him. I couldn’t wait to be his wife, him my husband. That way, I could chase my dreams in music and he could take over for my father. That’s the plan my parents have in mind. Although, they have made sure that no one outside of the family knows. It would be bad publicity.