Annihilate

doomed

A/N: hello there :) i just wanted to say that this is a little bit inspired by TFIOS and if you're quite a geek you'll even know i used a few phrases/thoughts from it (the end is not a mistake haha it's intentional).

(i wish my mother didn't look right through me every time my figure met the brown in her eyes)

i'm not scared of oblivion.

i live with it now. i am shadows that hang around the empty walls, i am trees that wave with no sound,

i am not scared of oblivion because, when sun swallows the only earth we have, nothing's going to change. at least not for me.

why am i a shadow?

why am i not fighting the fog? i wish something was destroying me, than i would have to fight it with the pigment of my skin and my mind and feel it with my freaking heart.

i don't want to be a shadow!

i depend on myself. therefore, i am doomed.

i am living life with no realization i am living it.

and i am free to choose the colours of the sky and press them against my organs as a refuge. i am completely free to scavenge your steel blue cells out of my lungs. i am utterly and beautifully free to love

love love love and

love until it annihilates me.

life is in my arms, mother. so fragile, so trembling. take it, cut my days and sew it at the end of yours. your bones so strong will carry them and i am breaking- under their emptiness.

(i am looking at my expression in the mirror. i am looking right through it.)

please, dig up the soil and when you touch the earth's core, i will lay my silken untouched heart and neck that i wished was porcelain in it.

my skin deserves no suns. when my heart was still bleeding, i should've written my own nights and my own soil. cut my wrists so rain can kiss them and i should have loved. with no bitterness. i should've written the colour of eyes i wanted to wear but instead i overcasted them.

i am standing in front of a pit and thinking twice about throwing my teeth and back in it. it is something i can't let go so easy. it is unfair that the boy wanted more days, only few more, and i am throwing mine with my own hands.

the pit shines with steel blue diamonds and i am doomed i am doomed i am d