Dear Mr. Pessimist {Completed}

~18~ Please Forgive Me, I Have Pie

Dear Bennett,

It looks a little weird writing your name out for once. I just. . . I really need you right now. Please call.

Sydney's

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"I don't want to talk to him."

I managed to choke out once I had sat down. My mind was still trying to wrap around what the hell had been wrong with me on the porch with Bennett, at the way my stomach had fluttered when he hugged me.

"Sydney, sweetie. Let me explain myself." My dad whispered, giving me a pleading look from where he sat across the room.

"Explain what? That your life was far better without your daughter in it? I figured as much." I snapped, glaring at the three adults in the room. To my surprise, my mom was the one who spoke up.

"Give him a chance to explain, Syd. Please." I almost snapped at her too, but decided against it and turned back to my dad.

"I didn't know about you, Sydney. Your mother never spoke a word about a child, about being pregnant even. Not until I stopped by here and you answered the door." He stood up, making gestures with his hands, "You answered the door, your hair in pig tails as you stared up at me in awe. You looked just like me, Syd. I had no doubt in my mind that you were my daughter." He knelt down in front of the recliner I was in, taking my hand.

"Then why didn't you stay?" I finally gave in to the tears that had nearly left my eyes an hour ago, "Why didn't you actually try and be a father? You had eighteen years and you weren't there for any of it." He stared up at me with desperate green eyes, shaking his head.

"I couldn't let you get hurt, Sydney. I knew I wouldn't be around enough, so I decided not to stay at all. You would have seen me a couple times a year, a-"

"One day in three years would have been enough for me, Dad. All I wanted was a father to teach me how to play a game, a sport even, to tell me why I shouldn't date until I was forty. I just wanted a father." I saw my mom bring her hand up and cover her mouth as she turned away.

"I'm so sorry, Sydney." He squeezed my hand, "And I'd completely understand if you can't forgive me. I just wanted you to know that it was never you I left, it wasn't your fault. I don't want you going on the rest of your life hating and blaming yourself." I pulled my hand from his grip and let out a shaky breath.

"I can't do this, Dad. You can't just come into my life when it's convenient for you." I said.

"I understand." He said, shocking me again. I stood up quickly, avoiding all the eyes on me.

"Can I go to bed now?" I asked, nodding toward the hallway. My mom nodded slowly, her lips quivering as if she were going to start crying.

"Of course." She responded. I walked out of the room without another word, shutting my door behind me with a sniffle. Once I had sat on my bed, I grabbed my phone from my purse and let me hands hover over Bennett's name.

I needed someone to talk to. I couldn't sit here all night and think about it. But why should I throw my problems on Bennett? He was probably already asleep and-

"Just do it." I forced myself to text him, letting myself relax a little once the text was sent. I laid on my bed, holding my pillow against my chest as everything that happened tonight circled around in my head.

"I don't want to hurt you, Syd. I hurt everything I touch." Bennett's voice looped through my head as a tear finally escaped my eye and slid down my cheek. I hoped that Bennett understood that as much as he believed he was hurting me, he was the only one that could come close to understanding how I feel.

*

I had just dozed off when my phone started blaring in my ear, nearly sending me on to the floor. I threw my hand over my heart and looked at the Caller ID, shaking my head when I saw Bennett's name.

"It's like three in the morning, Bennett. What the hell?" I grumbled, rubbing my eyes.

"You told me to call, you didn't give me a time. And I can't sleep, so I figured I'd wake you up too." He said it sarcastically, and for a moment, I felt a small smile tugging at my lips.

"Why can't you sleep?" I questioned.

"I usually drink on Friday nights, which results in me getting so shitfaced sometime during the night that I pass out." I hugged my pillow to my chest again, nodding despite the fact that he couldn't see me.

"Yeah, well I usually spend my Friday's alone in my bedroom dancing around to Kpop. So I guess we both had different nights tonight." I swear I heard him laugh on the other end.

"I guess so. Because Kpop would be just as bad as getting shitfaced in my opinion." He answered, earning an exaggerated gasp out of me.

"You take that back!"

"No."

"Yes." I heard him actually start laughing this time on the other end of the line. It was strange, considering the fact I hadn't heard him laugh since I'd met him.

"So why did you want me to call? Is it that idiot ex boyfriend of yours again?" He asked, "Or your father?"

"The latter." I said, my smile dissipating, "He was here when I came home and-"

"Let me guess, he wants to try and be in your life now, right? He's apologizing for never being there, giving you some half ass excuse on why he wasn't their your entire life." I stared at my wall blankly, trying to figure out how in the hell he knew that.

"How did you-"

"It's how they are, Sydney. Watch every movie ever, read any book where the kid deals with parent issues. They always want to make up for the lost time, make up excuses." I scratched my arm anxiously, not knowing what to say.

"Do you think I should forgive him?" I whispered.

"I don't know, Syd. I mean, that's your choice. If you feel better forgiving him, then do it. You don't want him come crawling to your front door and saying, 'Please forgive me, I have pie.'" I smiled a little, fiddling with the edge of my throw pillow.

"How'd you know I like pie?" I said.

"Well, you work at a bakery and you seriously have some strange addiction to sweets. I just took a wild guess." I shook my head at his words and laid back down on my bed, sighing.

"It's like two in the morning, Bennett. I better get some sleep if I'm going to be worth anything at work tomorrow." I moved the phone away from my ear as I yawned, waiting for him to say something.

"Okay. I'll see you around then, Syd." I was about to hang up but stopped as he spoke up quickly again, "Just don't let him hurt you again, Sydney. I don't. . . want to see you cry again. I don't want to see you hurt." Before I could say anything, the other line went dead and I set my phone back on my nightstand and stared up at the old picture of Justin Timberlake on my roof.

"Justin," I asked the paper, "What am I going to do?"

***AN***

Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I'm so sad to see this starting to wind down. Don't worry, it won't be for at least another six chapters (probably more) until it's done. 

Let me know what you thought! I haven't had a great day, because people think being a troll is fun, so I need a little cheering up :)

Love you guys and let me know what you thought!

~ChasingMadness24