Dear Mr. Pessimist {Completed}

~20~ That's Not My Cookie

Dear Mr. Pessimist,

Have you ever had something that was so much easier to write down on paper then say in person? I like you, Ben-

xoxox

I stared at the sticky note, shaking my head to myself.

What the hell is wrong with me? I'm not even that sure my feelings are romantic for him. I shouldn't be sitting here and leading him on, if in some alternate universe, he were to like me back.

"You've always been honest with guys." Jessie said from where she was spinning around in my computer chair, "What's so different about Bennett?" I shut the sticky note in my book and sighed.

"I don't know. I just. . . I don't want to hurt him, to see him hurt anymore. I feel like. . . like-"

"Like it's your fault every time he gets pissed off? Like you do everything you possibly can but it's still not good enough for him?" She went on, shoving a spoon of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream into her mouth.

"Yeah." I replied.

"Sydney, my dear, I think you like Bennett a lot more than you think." She pointed the spoon at me, "and I think you feel so strange about it all because you're used to helping guys with no strings attached. For you it's always been about proving how good they really are and trying to make them see the good in everything. But with Bennett, you feel like you can relate to him. You've let your guard down and now all your emotions are whirling around inside you." I stared at her, letting what she said sink in.

"You're still studying psychology?" I guessed, trying to divert the subject for a moment.

"Yep. Now stop trying to get around it, Syd. I'm your best friend, now spill." I sighed, rubbing the side of my head.

"I don't know what the hell is going on with me. I didn't feel anything before the other night. I mean, I felt like we were friends, which was already a step forward, but he hugged me and I felt like I wanted to stay in his arms all night." I explained.

"Go on." Jessie said, making a gesture with her spoon.

"And at work he. . . he won't take the job my dad is offering him even though it's perfect. He said he doesn't want hurt me by taking it. And then he had the cute little lip curl that always turns into a half smile." I heard Jessie giggle before I saw her face light up.

"You know that psychologist aren't supposed to laugh at their patients." I pointed out, smirking.

"Okay, okay. I'm good, now go on." She crossed her legs on the chair and propped her head up on her hands.

"A couple weeks ago, after work and after that party, we were walking in the park and he kissed me. He started to-"

"Oh my God, he kissed you? Sydney! That's. . . okay, sorry. You've got to remember I'm seventeen and you're my best friend." She shut her eyes and took a deep breath before smiling and nodding for me to go on.

"He started to pull away, saying he was sorry. And I kind of, well, I said that he needed to figure out his feelings before he pulls me down with him. But I think I like him, Jess. When he kissed me, I wasn't that sure. But the other night, on my porch, I realized it." She nodded, her eyes searching mine for a second before she spoke up.

"Do you like him more then you liked Zey?" She questioned.

"I never liked Zey, Jessie. I liked the idea of him."