Human Spines

An Old Man's Morning

Meanwhile

An Old Man

        I got up this morning and took a shower. I forgot my good soap in the bedroom so I had to use the one that makes me smell like apples. How did my good soap even get in my room? Ah, you know what? I probably moved it while sleepwalking.

        But anyway, now I smell like apples, and apples make me want marshmallows, which was what I was hoping to avoid by using my good soap, because my good soap smells like marshmallows and makes me want apples and apples are plenty better for me than marshmallows, but it's already too late now cause I've already got the marshmallows out and I'm not putting them back without eating one. Why do I even have that soap?

        I find a fork, crank on the old stove, and stick my marshmallow into the flames. My mama used to make the best desserts with marshmallows and apples, but I can't remember how she did it so I just wait until it's burned to pop it in my mouth. Instead of sitting down like an old lump, I moonwalk around the kitchen while it floats on my tongue.

        I toss my fork into the big green cup the sink and smile, happy I woke up with Michael Jackson in my head. I like singing in the morning, even though it makes the neighbors think I'm crazy. Not that I'm not crazy.

        I begin to twirl out of the kitchen but stop when my eyes land on the fork I just threw into the sink... sitting on the counter. Now I clearly remember tossing that fork into the sink, but here it is, burnt marshmallow bits sticking to it, my fingerprints visible on the silver. I glide back over to the sink, only to find my big green cup is missing. What in the world is going on?

        I stick the fork back in the sink and find my big green cup now chilling next to the fridge, like it'd been there the entire time. No. This is not allowed. I swipe the cup up but it's suddenly full of grape juice. I slosh the juice into the sink, shove the cup in the dishwasher and turn back around.

        But no.

        Now the cabinet is open.

        And the big green cup is staring right at me from the second shelf.

        Nope. That's it. I'm done with this. It's time for dance class.

Thanks for reading and don't forget to vote and comment! I know this chapter makes no sense now but it will later, I promise!