Chapter 28

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Anvesha-

I stared at my father. He was busy reading a newspaper. I saw his face scrunch up at some news and then relax.

I wondered if my father knew of the battle that was taking place in my mind; the battle to talk to him or to not tell a single word to him.

"Shona? What are you thinking?" He asked me as he neatly folded the newspaper and placed it on a table. So he had noticed my shameless stare.

I just shook my head, but he raised his eyebrow in order to tell me that he didn't believe me.

I just sighed. I knew I couldn't directly tell him, so instead I chose another option. "I recently read a novel. It was about an Indian woman and a British man. At first, this Indian woman hates the foreigner but then after few incidents, she starts to feel things for him...you know, love type things." I stuttered at the end, but father didn't notice it. It was normal for me to discuss book with my father, so he probably wouldn't guess it as something otherwise.

So I continued, "And the man also felt the same about her. And then... um, they decided to marry."

My father nodded with a blank face. I was really bad at reading my father's emotions.

"I was wondering how an Indian woman was able to be with that British man? I mean, things like that don't happen."

My father let out a light chuckle. "It is true Shona, things like that do not happen."

My heart sank at his words. But then he continued, "However, in the beginning of this century, the British used to marry our Indian women. But it was either forced or through money. Now, it is definitely not acceptable. Neither of the communities would accept an atrocious thing like this."

My heart thudded in my chest as I asked him the next question. "But what about you, papa? What do you think, if the situation happens in real life?"

My father looked me with his eyebrows raised. I quickly defended myself by saying that I was just curious.

"Well, personally, no Indian woman should have romantic feelings for a British. It's outrageous. But, we know feelings are uncontrollable. I fell for your mother when I was just sixteen year old. In that case, the woman and the man should run off to another universe." My father chuckled.

My father thought this? Well I'm sure he won't feel like this if I told him that I was talking about myself. I sighed.

"What's the name of the book, Shona? I never expected a book like this to be written. It's controversial." My father prodded curiously.

I opened and closed my mouth, trying to come up with something. Suddenly, a term came up to my mind. "That Indian Woman, yes."

My father seemed satisfied with the answer as he went back to reading his newspaper. I quickly went to my room and sat down on the bed. My heart felt like it was going to explode.

There was undoubtedly a feeling of sadness which was closing in on my mind. But then there was another feeling. A feeling of curiosity, a feeling of wanting to know what it would feel like to do something which was probably never done before.

And I wanted to do it. I wanted to go up to Alexander and tell him what I felt. But after that, what would happen? This was not a famous book in which the main protagonists had a happily ever after and run off to another land where the know they would be accepted.

But I wanted to do it. The future was uncertain, but at least right now I knew what to do.

I combed my hair and put it in a neat braid. Then I smoothened my sari for any creases. Draping a shawl on my upper body, I was good to go. My college was off due to winter holidays.

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