Dear Past, You Suck!

Late Night Skinny Dippers

I woke up and lurched out of bed. I ended up on the cold floor, panting as I tried to steady my heartbeat that seemed to be stuck in my throat. My hair stuck to my sweaty cheeks. I could almost still feel it. A ghost of the pain that I felt so vividly in my dream was already quickly fading. I let out a shaky breath. It was like I was there, right beside her. Burning as she did. I couldn't even handle it in my dream, how did she do it in real life. Of course I know how. She screamed. And then she died.

I push my damp hair back, absentmindedly tying it up with the hair tie that never left my wrist. With my thoughts still on my dream, I stand up and leave my room. My feet carried me down the dark hallway, all of the lights had gone out by now. Pushing open the door that my feet brought me to, I stepped into the black room.

"Abe?" Quiet breathing followed my whisper. My bare feet making soft smacking noises on the slightly uneven wooden flooring. "Abe?" I repeat again. A small groan following. I could hear the covers shuffling as he stirred from his sleep.

"Hm? Aliceisthatyou?" His words slurred together from sleep.

"Yeah it's me. Sorry, I just... I just had a nightmare. Sorry I shouldn't have woke you. I'll go back to bed now."

"No, stay,"He said, the sleep slowly leaving his voice. I heard the covers shift again and then the floor creak. A warm hand grasped blindly on my shoulder. Finding me he slid his hand down until he found my hand. He grasped it tightly, intertwining his fingers between mine. Suddenly my heart wasn't beating as hard anymore. A warm emotion spread in my chest, I couldn't identify it though. He pulled me toward the bed. He pressed lightly on the lower of my back, insisting that I get in first. I didn't complain, now that I was calm, sleep was calling to me. I crawled under the blankets and moved aside to give him room. The bed sank as he laid down. I shimmy as far over to the other side as possible, it's his bed and I don't want to disturb his sleep anymore than I already have. Rain was quietly hitting the window outside. I think we were both listening to it. The patter mixed with slow breathing created a calm and sleepy environment. I lay there, eyes straining to see in the dark, for what seemed like minutes. I could feel his heat beside me and wanted nothing more than to curl up next to him. But I'm pretty sure he was asleep, he hadn't moved or said anything for a while now.

But my own eyes refused to close. There was still a chance that I would close my eyes and find myself surrounded by flames again. I let out a tired sigh. It seemed to echo in the quiet room, louder than I thought. I winced, straining my eyes in his direction to see if I had woke him up again. The bed shook as he shifted. His arm reached out, crossing my torso and pulling me closer to him so my side gently touched his chest.

"Can you not sleep?" He mumbled tiredly.

"No, I'm scared I'll have the same dream," I said quietly. He pulled me a little closer so I was pressed against him. His warmth was gentle and comforting unlike the painful heat of the fire in my dream.

"If you have the nightmare again, wake me, I will help you," he whispered.

A flashback came of our wedding when he had promised to help me. I whispered back,"And I will trust you." I turned on my side, nestling into his chest comfortably, his arms wrapped comfortably around me. I closed my eyes happily knowing he was right beside me.

I woke up feeling like my lungs were being seared, my skin burning. The dream happened again. Although they start differently, it always seems to end in the same way;burning. I gasped as I opened my eyes. It was still dark, Abe's arms still wrapped around me. My gasping startled him awake, he jumped, his side spazzing as he too gasped.

"What! What is it!" He lurched into a sitting position, it was just light enough now to make out his outline.

"Sorry, sorry. I just had a nightmare, it's fine."