Dear Past, You Suck!

Art Of War

Abe and I came in through the back door, trying not to be seen. The last thing we needed in this house was more rumours and drama. Most of the house was already awake already. So as we entered the kitchen we were met by a dozen people stopping their cooking and bustling to watch their bosses walk in half naked and soaking. After the initial shock, they looked down, trying to respect our privacy. But as we scuttled quickly through the kitchen, I saw most of them looking up, snickering. They didn't even wait for us to completely leave the room before they ran to each other laughing and no doubt gossiping.

We squelched along the shadowy corridors, leaving water as we went. Even though he was shivering, Abe still had a large smile on his face, "Why had we not done this sooner? We must do this at least once a week!"

I laughed shaking my head, "Even in winter?"

"Yes, winter too. We shall just have to have warm milk by the fire afterwards." He declared as he began slipping on the polished wood. He grabbed onto me to stop his fall. I didn't expect it though and tumbled down alongside him. My ass landing on his stomach making him 'oof!' from my weight.

"Serves you right for bringing me down with you!" I said, pointedly refusing to get off as he reached to roll me off. I laughed and rolled away so instead we were both laying on the ground together, our feet on the wall of the narrow corridor.

He chuckled, "This should definitely be a reoccurring activity."

"What the falling or the laying in a puddle of pond water in my fake mother's house?"

He scrunched up his nose like he was pretending to think, "Both I should think."

Then the squeal that if I hadn't seen Duchess Hemerton just turn the corner, would have thought was a pig in terror. Her eyes as large as saucers and face red from embarrassment stuttered as she looked down on us. Abe was immediately on his feet looking very ashamed. I huffed, staring at the ceiling in annoyance. I can't have one perfect moment without something tragic happening! It's like God or someone wants to make sure I don't have one moment where everything goes according to plan. I begrudgingly got up. Duchess Hemerton took a look at my wet nightdress (which no doubt was clinging to my very naked body) and went even more red.

"I wanted you to consummate your marriage not trapeze through the estate indecent!" She scolded us, Abe looking at the water pooled at his feet, and I holding her gaze. Duchess Hemerton turned to two people who had been standing in the shadows behind her. I'd been so concentrated on her I didn't realize anybody else was here. I should've guessed though since when has it ever been easy enough to be caught by someone I could easily get around. Margaret smiled proudly at me, winking at me when I met her gaze. A bearded man who Duchess Hemerton now turned to, smiled mischievously at his feet, chuckling merrily. "I apologize profusely Sir Logger, I was not aware-"

"It is no bother, Duchess. I think it wonderful that the young couple enjoys each other's company in such a way," he laughed, still staring at his feet. Wow, this guy just keeps finding me at my worst, doesn't he.

"I apologize Duchess, Margaret, Sir Logger. We will be off now to get properly dressed," Abe said, his face almost as red as Duchess Hemerton. He pulled me into him, so he might obscure my figure from our visitor.

An hour later and I was sitting in the library, hoping that Sir Logger would happen to come here. After our two awkward encounters I wasn't sure whether or not it would be weird to ask him to help. But when I got in the library, he was already there.

"About time, my Lady," his eyes crinkling as he looked up from a small book.

"Oh I'm very sorry. I didn't know-"