12 Reasons

Day 2: Reason 2

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage

***

    Yesterday after, Alan showed up and told me my first reason is Alex. I got nervous, it took him one morning to find one reason. The reason was true that I really like Alex. I thought about Alex, and that hit me.

I don't think I want to die anymore. I want to grow up and have that kid by my side. He gave me a reason to live like, when I grow up I want to adopt Alex, no matter his age. I want to cut off this deal with Alan. I don't want him to give me reasons that'll make me want a future in this world or this country either.

"Josephine, I'm making cake pops, want to help me?" I look at my sheet music. I could continue, but I like Miss. Kennedy. She's nice, young and understands me. I think she's about 21, and I'm only 17.

"Yes, Jo." She likes me calling her Jo because Kennedy makes her feel old.

She grabs my hand, and we walk together to the kitchen. "So, I heard a boy came over yesterday. Details please."

She brings out the pops from the oven and the already made icing from the fridge and the different sprinkles from the cupboard.

"He's a classmate and he'll be coming today too and tomorrow and so much more." She nods as she decorates it when the doorbells ring. I hear Alex shouting my name, and clean my dirty icing hands on my clothes.

"Hey, Alan!" I say not needing to look at him. I grab Alex and put him on my shoulder like I usually do.

"So, do you have anything planned out for today?" He asks, and I nod. "Staying at home counts?" he chuckles at me and I walk back into the kitchen to see Jo, finishing the pops. I have no idea how that woman does it, but she can decorate anything in less than 2 seconds.

The dinner bell goes off, and I walk to the hall with Alex on my shoulders and Alan on my heals. Alex playing with my hair, distracting me, but Alan reaches out and drags him down smiling. "Today we're having roast chicken and for dessert, I made Cake pops."

The different kids take their assigned seats and I seat next to Alex like I normally do. "I'll be back later!" Alan suggests trying to walk out of the dining hall. Jo grabs his sleeve and drops him in a seat.

"Start eating!" She says pointing at the roast in the middle of the door.

She takes her own seat at the head of the table. "So, Josephine." I look at her and she looks at me.

"Josephine, I've been saving up with the rest of my workers. We've saved enough money, to send you to university and college. We all think you're pretty smart you know."

"I don't want to go to university." She shakes her head at me.

"Please, Josephine I just want to give you a bright future. I know you think I'm bugging you, but I just want the best for you." I understand her. She just wants the best for me.

"I'll go, Jo." Her smile widens, and I look around the table. Everyone smile at me and when my face reaches Alans' I know the next reason. His knowing grin like yesterday when he told me my first reason Alex is there.

"I still can't believe it was just some years ago, you appeared with your tiny pigtails. Soon I'll be sending you up to university and before you know college." She stands up and kisses me on my cheek.

"Thank you, Josephine." Then she walks out of the dining hall. As I finish my dinner and walk out dining hall. Alan follows behind me with his hands in his pockets. A big smug smile on his lips. I hate this kid.

"Second reason Josephine. Jo." I look at him showing defeat, I must build up my game in this, but I don't know how.

"I don't want to play this game anymore," I whisper defeatedly. He chuckles next to me and turns me around.

"You don't know when something good happens to you. You have people that love you deeply, so what's the issue. I just can't process you." He shouts, and his words sink in. "I don't want to be helped."

"I want to help you. I'll help you. You're just giving up because your sorry self-knows I'm going to win."