12 Reasons

Day 3: Reson 3

The jealous are possessed by a mad devil and a dull spirit at the same time

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Alan, I don't know what to do about him anymore. I tried telling him I'm tired of this, and I want it to end but I've come to no avail. He won't listen to me, his just so, annoying and persuading. I should never have started this game.

I should have just pushed him away, not care about his opinion and jump. Jump so my hair flies, hitting my face and I'll fly. So, I can feel that gush of anxiousness in me and smile because I know I'll soon see my family, that's if they are even up there.

My leg hurt when I finally make it to the school, and I'm not still sure it's worth it. I could just order a taxi or take the bus, Jo says she's already paying for my university. I just don't know why I want to walk. If it's my heavy breathing that I like or my sweaty face and hair. When I finally make it to school, that's so appealing to me, I'm unsure.

Like every day, I get my daily pushing and shoving and names and like every day. I try my best to ignore them. Some people like me that get bullied, wave at me and a few sets of hi and how are you. I wave back and greet them before walking away like I usually do.

"Hey, Josephine." Alan's familiar voice says from behind me and I turn around. His hands wrap around my shoulder like he usually does in school and we walk down the hallway to our classes together. It always earns us weird looks from everyone, but when you get it every day you learn to ignore them.

Eventually.

"I'm sorry about last night." He starts, and I watch as his eyes look at mine. It slowly moves down to my lips and then back to my eyes. He continues the process as he apologizes, left eye to right eye, then my lips. I don't listen to his words is like they're in the background, I just follow his eyes. God this is confusing.

I then notice he stopped talking, and I nod at him. "I forgive you!" I say unsurely, and he smiles at me, a happy truthful smile. I get pushed over from behind and I turn around to find a group of friends laughing at me. I roll my eyes at them and shout, "Wow, really funny. Pushing people won't get your dumbass into university." They giggle as they walk away ignoring my comment. I'm not even sure myself if they understood it.

As I walk to my locker with Alan behind me, many chuckling and giggling echoes in the hallways. I ignore it and open my locker regretting ever opening it.

There writing in my locker is. "When is part two of your suicide series coming up." My gaze water as I look around the hall, trying my best to pinpoint who did it? Not even sure it's going to help me in any way. I really wanted to shout real funny, but I don't know why I couldn't. I just couldn't.

It hit me. They all wanted me dead really. Why didn't I just do it? I close my locker and work slowly to my class when Alan turns me over. There's no one else in the hall except both of us and he stares me straight in the eye.

"Reason 3." He whispers. "You have to stay strong. You don't want them to see their words gets to you. That will make them win. You don't want them to win."

I stare at him and know what he's saying is true. I don't want them to win. I want to win. I want to show them that their words don't get to me. At all.