Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence
***
Today is the day of the exams, to get an acceptance from Yale. I studied so hard for this, I just want to make Jo happy. I stayed up so late and the thing is we have only one exam, not a math, English, chemistry or stuff like that just one. If I fail it's all over. Except I get an acceptance form, from the universities I sent it to.
Which is what I'm scared of. Jo said I will get a form, but what if I don't. What if none of the universities wants me. Then what happens if I fail this test, then what. My dreams just come crashing down, like an avalanche. Everything I started walking so hard for.
"It's going to come," Jo explains for the hundredth time today. I'm sitting in the orphanage, with the only laptop and watching the screen waiting for my form. I've waited so long, I don't know even if I'm ready for the answers myself. Alan hadn't come yet, which is weird since he always comes early.
Small steps come from behind me and I take my eyes off the screen, to see Alex and Camille running towards me. Camille stops a few feet away as Alex comes closer. She never really liked being next to me, I never found out why. As Alex jumps on my legs and sits down, "can me and Cam play games on the computer?"
I look back at Camille to see her shaking her head at me to agree. "Sorry guys. What I'm doing is really important."
"You're only staring at the screen, that's not important," Camille says, surprising me. Her voice is calm and quiet. She walks closer to me standing next to my legs. "I like your hair!" She says out of blues and I smile not knowing what to do. "I like yours too," I answer back, and she smiles up at me. Showing her two missing front teeth. She's so cute.
"Josephine, hey!" We all look back to see Alan, come in as Jo walks out. "Is he your boyfriend?" Camille whispers and I shake my head mouthing her a 'no.' "You guys are looking cozy!" Alex jumps off my lap and takes Camille hands dragging her away from the living room. Living me and Alan alone in the room.
"Nice kids. So how do you think you did in the exams?" His hand finds mine and he starts playing with my fingers.
"Good. I just pray I don't fail. I've worked so hard for this." His hand leaves my hand to find my face and he moves it to look at him.
"You're going to pass." He states confidence radiating from his voice. How can a human being sound so convincing at a point where something is not possible? "You have to." He finishes, his confidence leaving.
"I'm not sure about that, I just started studying a week ago."
"There's something called hope. It's a word in the dictionary. You must start believing in yourself. Reason 11, Hope."
***
Happy Ramadan Kareem
ŞİMDİ OKUDUĞUN
12 Reasons
Kısa Hikaye"I don't know how to love, all I feel is the pain in my song!" I want to jump off the highest cliff down into the narrowest road. Feel my last breath drawn away from me as I smile. I want to feel the air on my hair, and the hair on my face as I jump...
