F*ck Me (Modern Cliches, #2)

The Discussion

In which I attempt to have a civil discussion... with a demon.

Wait, can someone have a civil discussion with a spawn of hell? I have no clue but I knew this discussion was not making my day any better because I am pretty sure that having sex with a demon gives a person a one way ticket to hell. I'm not overly religious but that seems like something that would send someone to the deepest pits.

Call me crazy but I would much rather not go with the fire and brimstone because that would do all sorts of shit to my hair. Shit is delicate and picky, okay?

~~~~~

Silence reigned in the apartment as I hid behind my bed like a chicken shit. My heart pounded in my ears and my teeth wanted to clatter together in my mouth. I didn't know what the fuck to do. I didn't have a phone to call for help or a cross to maybe help me banish him from my house. Would that even work on him? I had no clue. All I knew about demons was The Exorcist's 'power of Christ compels you' shit.

I swallowed hard, straining to hear anything from outside my door. It was hard with my heart pounding in my ears like it was. The booming of it seemed to drown everything else out and that terrified me even more. Would a locked door even stop a demon? I had no fucking clue. It wasn't like I was the type of person who just went out and diddled demons in my spare time. I had no clue what I was dealing with. I doubted anyone knew what I was dealing with. There more than likely wasn't a group one could go to called Demon Fuckers Anonymous.

"Mortal." The deep and dark voice was slightly muffled from my bedroom door and I inhaled sharply, feeling like my heart was going to burst from my chest. I tried very, very hard to stay still and be quiet. I didn't want to give him any reason to think I was there. It was stupid but I was scared and that is what someone does when they are scared, make stupid decisions. "I know you are in there. We have things to discuss." There was a heaviness to his voice that made him sound agitated and I pressed my lips into a thin line. "A locked door would not stop me, Ethel, I am being courteous. Do not make me stop being courteous." My name in those rather decadent tones had my stomach flipping and my legs wanting to go weak. To which I promptly cursed myself because bad libido! You do not get horny for demons!

Also what demon is fucking courteous? Was there a demon code or some shit they have to follow? I was pretty sure they just murdered and raped. That was their status quo. I swallowed hard, wondering if I should test him before realizing that would be a stupid decision and I wasn't dumb enough to make him prove himself by like... melting through walls or some crazy shit. That was all that I needed to see. I was already feeling a little rocky mentally, I didn't need to see that shit. It would send me straight to loopy town where I would have a self-hugging jacket waiting for me.

I really didn't want a self-hugging jacket.

I slowly moved from my position behind the bed, reaching out and grasping a pair of discarded flannel pants and a large t-shirt. I kept my eyes on the door as I slowly pulled the shirt over my head. I was not going to go out with Mr. I-Can-Turn-Into-A-Demon without clothes on. I didn't know why I felt so adamant about it, as if my clothes would stop him and his fucking claws from gutting me.

I swallowed down the bile I got from the thought as I stood up on trembling legs and pulled my pants on. The pain I got from the movement made me wince, my mind temporarily forgetting the fucking nightmare that was behind my bedroom door. I muttered to myself, hating how much I hurt and how much my body was being all sorts of fucking crazy.

"If you won't listen then I shall have to retrieve you." The bedroom door lock turned and the door was shoved open. I let out a comical yelp as I attempted to scurry backwards but tripped because of the pants I had just pulled over my knees and landed hard on my ass.