in time ✱ j. jungkook

✱ chapter forty-one

miyoung pov

Luckily after the whole fiasco that went down at the dance, we had a week-break off of school. I don't know what I would do if I had to face Jungkook so soon.

After finally realizing where my feelings stood with Jungkook, nothing had been the same. I started to think about him in a different light. He seemed to be the one occupying my mind now.

Taehyung was no longer in the picture. I realized that my feelings for Taehyung were nothing but a mere crush and adoration, whereas with Jungkook, I felt something so strong, it was quite terrifying.

I was experiencing new feelings and I had no idea what to do with them.

But the main emotions that I had been feeling since the dance four days ago was regret and guilt.

Regret for not realizing my feelings sooner. Regret for thinking that all this time I thought I hated Jungkook when in reality I was in love with him.

Guilt for running off the way I did. Even if I was embarrassed, scared, or whatever else I was feeling in that moment, I shouldn't have run away the way I did.

Imagining what Jungkook must be feeling right now after I ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped on it various times was killing me. I wanted to bash my head against the wall for what I did.

He probably hates me now and wants nothing to do with me.

I don't blame him, if I had confessed to someone and they ran away from me without giving them a proper explanation, I would most likely stay clear of them.

The thought of Jungkook ignoring me sent a dagger through my chest. I didn't want to be a part from Jungkook. In fact, now I wanted to be with him more than ever. But I knew that Jungkook wasn't going to so easily let me waltz back in and explain.

I've been locked in my room since the dance, which was four days ago. My parents soon figured out what happened and decided to give me my space, occasionally coming in to talk to me and tell me that everything was going to be alright and that I would have the chance to explain to him once the whole situation cools down a bit.

Of course I told my parents about what happened, they're my parents. Seeing as they've been married for over twenty-five years, I figured they could give me some insight of what I should do.

My dad was a bit disappointed in me, telling him that running away and then proceeding to ask yet another guy to drive me home was rude. He said, "The poor kid properly doesn't have a fraction of a heart left after that."

That broke me.

But my mom proceeded to tell me that yes, I shouldn't have run away and tell him straight on that I needed time to think about my feelings, but that I wasn't completely in the wrong here.

That confused me.

"You can't expect to just jump right into a relationship with him when for the nine years you two have known each other, it's been constant arguing and bickering. You came home almost every day complaining about much Jungkook annoyed you and how much you wanted him out of your life. Of course it took time for you to start warming up to each other, and once you two were starting to feel a little bit comfortable with each other, he sprung up and told you he loved you. It was expected, yes, but I feel like he should have waited a while longer until you both could completely get along and there was no more of that stupid bickering between you two." My mom had said.

I saw her point, but I wasn't about to pile all the blame onto Jungkook. We were just barely becoming friends when he blurted out he loved me.

But I feel like instead of running away from my problems —which I seem like I'm always doing— I should have told him that I needed some time to think about everything before I gave him an absolute answer.

Nayoung came by today to check up and see how I was doing.

"Yeah, I heard about what happened through Hoseok," She said, rubbing my shoulders as I sighed. "He said that Jungkook's been a wreck, not eating and just watching TV. He looks lifeless."

"I hate that he's like this because of me," I whine, feeling the tears prick at the corner of my eyes. "I want to fix this and tell him how I feel."

"How you feel? Wait, what?"

I bite the inside of my cheeks. "That night, I realized that I really did like Jungkook too. I thought about it for hours, poking at every corner to see if it was true, and it is," I blink. "Remember how you said that he's always been a constant part of my life and vice versa? Well, I realized that I don't want him to ever leave, I want him to stay by my side forever."

Nayoung grinned, side-hugging me in the process. "I'm so happy that you've finally realized your feelings. Took you long enough."

I scoff and roll my eyes, emitting a sad chuckle.

"So, why are you sitting here and moping your sad ass off? Go to Jungkook and tell him your feelings!" She pushed.

I shake my head sadly and play with my fingers. "He won't want to see me, not after I basically ignored his confession."

"Bullshit," Nayoung muttered. "You don't know unless you try. Don't be sitting here, feeling sorry for yourself and how you broke his heart and stuff when you can be out there, mending his heart and letting him know you feel the same way and want to be with him."

When I don't say anything, she speaks up again. "Look, Jungkook's been in freaking love with you for nine years. Nine. Freaking. Years. He's bottled up all these emotions and finally had the courage to confess. You reject him one time, it's not the end of the world. It's not like just by a snap of a finger he's not going to like you anymore. Nine years is a long time, and it's not going to take a week to get over someone. So if you truly want him to stay by your side as much as you say you do, then get your sorry ass off that bed, get ready, and go talk to him. If you continue to mope around, then he knows that there's no point in trying anymore and really will try anything in his power to get over you."

The thought of Jungkook doing everything he could to get over me made my heart clench.

Nayoung was right, she was absolutely, all-the-way right. There was no need to sugar coat it and say that everything would be alright if I gave it time. I needed to act upon my feelings if I wanted things between Jungkook and I to work out.

"You're right," I say, bobbing my head up and down. "Should I talk to him once school starts or...?"

"You're a fucking idiot," She groans, slapping her head. "Now! Do it now! The sooner you do it, the better."

I chuckle awkwardly. "Right now?" I look down at my clothes and point to my messy hair and puffy eyes. "Looking like this?"

Nayoung rolls her eyes and smacks the back of my head, a yelp coming out of my lips. "Then get ready dumbass! You're just making excuses to wait. Don't."

I nod hurriedly and put decent looking clothes on and brush my hair. I try to put on a little bit of makeup to conceal the fact that I had been crying the past couple of days.

"Good, let's go! I'll drive you there." My best friend excitedly says as she grabs my hand and drags me out of my room and out the door to her car.

Wait for me Jungkook.

chapter forty-one
ksjshw

am i back on my roll with these updates :p

this book is coming to an end soon ahh i wish i had written this book just a tad differently but it's fine whatever :') i hope you guys have enjoyed this story so far!