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Chapter Twenty Davina Jeanne Covey
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James liked Davina. His only problem was finding a way to tell her how he truly felt. So far he had: standing on a table in the Great Hall and announcing to all of Hogwarts how much he adored her... or sending her a note by owl. Neither proved to be very appealing when he thought them over. Instead, he was left with simply confessing how he truly felt on the Valentine's Day trip.
January had passed by quickly, which didn't leave James with much time to completely map out his plan. Many eventually began to raise the question if James and Davina were even still together. When asked about it, both would casually brush off the question and said they'd been busy with either quidditch or their studies. They weren't certain their answers would completely settle everyone's curiosity but it turned out to be enough to have others move on and focus on the next piece of gossip they could find.
However, before James could truly confess to Davina, he felt there was still something he needed to do for himself. Telling the rest of the Marauder's that he needed to sort some things out, he left the dormitory, the map in hand, and headed to the grass field by the Forbidden Forest. As he neared the field, the familiar head of ginger came into sight.
Lily was resting against the trunk of a tree, her potions textbook in her lap, as she sorted out her notes of the class. It wasn't until James Potter was standing at her feet that she noticed the sense of worry in his eyes and greeted him. "James, is there something you need?"
"Could I talk to you about something?" he asked already taking a seat before her. Lily raised an eyebrow, "Sure?"
James breathed in deeply as he tried to sort his thoughts. "I've been infatuated with you since first year, right? Not exactly new information and you already know that I'm with Davina, and have been for a little while now and —" he slowly began to ramble, losing the point he had begun to make.
"You're rambling," Lily said, a sting in her tone. "What is it you want to say?"
James squeezed his lips together and breathed out. "I thought I was in love with you for a long time. Eventually, I realized I was only infatuated with you. I didn't really know what —" his lips trembling before the word finally fell from his lips,"— love was until Davina became a part of my life. And for some reason, I felt like I needed to come here and let the thought of you go?"
Lily narrowed her eyes as she processed what the boy was trying to say. Although she didn't exactly understand the context of why he felt the need to do this, she knew it was somehow vital in finalizing how he felt for Davina. "I don't really know why, but I felt like doing this would somehow push some weight off my shoulders."
"I can sort of understand that," Lily said coolly. "I mean you thought you were in love with me for almost six years. Letting go of something you've convinced yourself of is a part of moving on actually. Kind of like growing out of your teddy bear because you've realized it isn't what makes you feel safe anymore."
James felt himself slightly relax at her words.
"So you love Davina, then?" Lily added. James' eyes visibly widened at the mention. Lily couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. "Please Potter, you've been together all this time and haven't said the 'L' word yet?"
He scrunched his nose in annoyance, "It's not exactly something to be taken lightly, Evans."
"I'm glad you finally realized that, Potter," Lily said with a smirk. "You know, in all the years I've known you, you've never once looked at me the way you've looked at her."
James glanced at the ginger to see the warm smile on her features. His confused expression only caused Lily to laugh more. "Don't think no one else has noticed the longing stares you both share in class. You know Sirius and Peter bet on how long you'll go without blinking, right? Last one happened in Defence. Sirius won five sickles for going over a minute and a half, I think it was."
"Bastards," James scoffed at his friends.
"The point is, I can tell you really care about her. Love her, even," Lily said, holding the edges of her book. "Have you figured out a way to tell her yet?"
James shook his head. "Everything I can think of either seems over the top or completely idiotic," he sighed. He had been too busy talking that he hadn't even realized how freely he was talking about Davina and his feelings now. He felt he could breath easier and everything he thought was complicated was suddenly not. James stood from his seated position and smiled in the ginger's direction, "Thanks for hearing me out. Bye, Evans."
Lily rolled her eyes, "Yeah, whatever," she said as he began to walk away. "You better not hurt her, Potter!"
He waved his hand up, noting her warning and jogging back to the castle.
Lily scoffed, toerag.
As James returned to the Common Room, he did his best to figure out how he would confess to the girl he loves. To the girl he loves. Not a girl he was infatuated with for the hell of it, but a girl he had truly fallen for. And how could he not? She was the epitome of his perfect girl.
He loves her because she was kind and warm, he loves her because she'd laugh at the silliest things and the way she'd lose herself in a good book. He loves her in the moments she didn't have to be kind or warm, he loves her in the moments she didn't have to be smart or intelligent. He loves her in the moments she was simply Davina.
James Potter was completely, deeply, and truthfully in love with Davina Jeanne Covey.
