FRIENDS // MITCHEL CAVE

21- Falling

Mitchel's POV

I sat at the edge of the bed watching as Skye paced around the room, unable to sit at peace with anger still obviously playing on her mind.

Neither of us had really spoke since what happened on the bus, I merely suggested a hotel that I knew nearby from previous tours and I payed for the room.

We had been here for about ten minutes and so far she had spent this time unpacking the belongings of ours she had hastily packed. She had paced around putting some clothes into the wardrobe and our toiletries in the bathroom.

It was getting exhausting; watching her. I just wanted to grab her and throw her on the bed to stop her annoying me where we would no doubt end up tangled in between the sheets partaking in our usual activity.

I couldn't though, I had no energy to. I felt strange; a feeling that I didn't like because I didn't know how to fix it. It wasn't like when you were sad and you could just eat away the pain or have a drunk. It wasn't like when you were angry and you had to just smoke something to calm you down. I didn't know what was wrong so I didn't know how to fix it.

I had been feeling lost for quite some time now. It had been plaguing me, this feeling of uncertainty. It followed me around like a dark cloud that I shook off and distracted myself with by temporary bliss that never lasted.

When Skye caught me earlier in the back room with the pills I'm not sure if I was relieved or not. I had obtained them from a dealer I knew around this area and while I wasn't sure if I was going to take them, they were comforting in a way, to know I had them as a safety net if things became unbearable.

I tried not to dabble in hard drugs, not ones like these that could easily end me with only a few. I stuck to what I know but what I knew, wasn't cutting it.

"What are you thinking about?"

I'm interrupted out of my trance by Skye worryingly standing in front of me, watching me as if I were some fragile being, which I guess I was.

I hadn't cried in front of anyone since I was about 9 and I fell and broke my arm. My mum took care of me and nursed me back to help.

I hated crying in front of people, I hated people seeing me weak and vulnerable and yet I didn't mind in front of her. I felt comfortable actually, and I wasn't sure why.

"Nothing" I dismiss.

I wasn't in the mood to talk about it today, maybe not even tomorrow. How could I talk about something I didn't even fully understand myself? I was unhappy, I knew that much but why? I couldn't answer that.

She gives a weak smile in response as she declares she's going to go for a shower. I nod in response, a part of me wanting to go and join her and just enjoy being so close to someone but another part of me was far too drained to even bother.

So I remained on the bed. I kicked my shoes off and threw my top onto the chair. It was pretty warm in the room but I didn't want to turn the thermostat down incase Skye got cold when she came out the shower.

Even little things like that confused me. It's something I would never have fussed over, it wouldn't have even crossed my mind to concern myself over if she was cold or not.

I knew what this meant. I had feelings for her. Feelings that I didn't want to admit to having because I don't do relationships and I don't ever want to be committed to something I couldn't give all my being into.

Being in a band is hard especially when you're constantly on tour or making albums. There's little time to spend with a significant other, it creates the conflict for you. The ones that typically arise from staying at the office too late or staring at a woman in the bar a little too long.

It created trust issues out of nowhere because every night you'd spend with a different group of girls while you worried that your own girlfriend was seeking company in someone else while you were gone.

Relationships don't last for people like me and my lifestyle so I do my best to avoid them from the beginning and that way I never lose out.

Yet here I was, finding myself falling for the girl in the shower that I could faintly hear humming along to one of my songs. Songs she claimed weren't her style yet she carried the tune perfectly.

I turned on the television in an attempt to distract me from her which was proving difficult lately. There wasn't much on but that wasn't really a surprise. I settled on an old rerun of a sitcom that I knew she would no doubt enjoy and it provided good background noise.

After a little while she re-emerged with her hair tied up in a loose bun while adorning one of my shirts that draped on her like a dress. It amazed me how she so effortlessly looked good in such simple attire and I don't think I ever told her this but again I never wanted to overstep the boundary of what we are.

She sat beside me careful not to get to close still probably unsure of my mental state. I pulled her into me letting her know I didn't mind and that I actually really enjoyed the feeling of having her beside me, I felt safe and content.

She happily cuddled into my chest scrolling through her phone for a while before putting down and letting out a yawn presumably getting tired now that it was growing later.

"Thank you" I say.

"For what?" She replies in a confused and sleepy state.

"For sticking up for me" I say "No one's done that for me in a long time"

"You don't need to thank me" She says.

I lightly nod, unsure of what to say after that. I was still a bit surprised with her standing up to management because even I was unable to do that and yet she did it with ease. It touched me, that she cared enough and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

She beginning to fall asleep; her usual routine falling into place. Her breathing would slow and her fingers would loosen their grip on my necklace where they usually resided and then gradually yet all at once, her eyes would close and she was out like a light.

And I think the more I tried to deny what I felt for her, the more I was falling.

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// Falling- Chase Atlantic \\