My trials, tribulations, triumphs and more... - Arjuna.

Chapter 5: Tearful Farewell

The situation at the makeshift place was heart-wrenching with sobs and sighs. Slowly, the place was filled up with plenty of people who gathered around. It seemed that this tragic news was spread far and wide, as we were seeing some of the people gathered there for the first time. I was totally shattered and was feeling disoriented. It was our first rude awakening to the reality and finality of life. Yudhi bhai was finding it very difficult to control our matas who were looking so lifeless and weak. Our little brothers were continuously calling our father and trying to wake him up by using various ways like tickling him etc.,. Bhim bhai took our brothers out so as to control them, since Nakul already collapsed once before due to exertion. He carried each one of them on his shoulders and walked outside the place, it looked like Bhim bhai already took the mantle of being our protector in every sense. Bhim bhai was truly unique, his love and warmth for his loved ones had no bounds, and at the same time his ferocity for his adversaries was full and complete.

The scenes at the place were truly devastating and I found it impossible to stay at that place any longer. I slowly moved out from there and reached the riverbank and was wailing out loudly and asking God why did he snatch our father from us. I was still recollecting the last night memories of our father telling us such lovely stories and we all enjoying his company, then I suddenly felt sleepy and collapsed on the grassland. I immediately was into deep sleep and it looked like I was having a dream in which, I saw a mischievous looking bright boy of bluish colour with captivating eyes and gentle smile and hair adorned with peacock feathers with flute in his hand. He was calling me by various names like Arjuna, Phalguna, Paartha, Savyasachi, Dhanananjaya, Kiriti, Jishnu, Bibhatsu, Gudakesa, Vijaya, Shwetavahana, Gandivadhari, and finally Krishna and signalling me to come to him. I was able to recognize only few names by which he was calling me though and they were Arjuna, Paartha, Phalguna and Krishna. The name Krishna was given to me by my father out of love towards his dark-skinned boy. I slowly rose from the ground and moved towards him and he immediately hugged me and I felt so comforted by that gesture that all my pain and anger of the earlier incident slowly vanished. He said to me, 'Arjuna, your father was a great man and he is in heaven now, stop shedding your tears. He will be there with you always in your thoughts and deeds, he will be looking at all of you from up there and will be protecting you all'.

It felt like the boy was surrounded by some kind of divine aura and was looking so splendid and shining so brightly like a star. I asked him what was his name and how and from when does he know me and whether he will be my friend. The boy laughed loudly at these questions and patted my back and said Paarth, I'm your Madhav, and I know you since eternity and we already are the most dearest of friends. I don't know why but hearing all this made me emotional and was crying like a baby and clasped his hands. He patted me gently and said, now go back and be with your matas and brothers. I suddenly woke up with a jerk and was dazed at what happened just earlier in the dream. I was able to regain some composure soon after and thanked my friend Madhav in my heart and went back to the place.

Finally, Kunti mata and Madri mata for the sake of us kids were able to control their emotions with great difficulty and also Bhim bhai brought my little brothers back as now they too were in better shape. Dhaumya our family priest suggested we move back to our ashram to conduct last rites for our father and also he sent messenger back to Hastinapur to convey the tragic news of our father's demise to our Pitamah Bhishm, our bade pitashree Dhritarashtra and to our kaka Vidur. We reached the ashram soon and arrangements were being made for the last rites of our father. After sometime, we heard sounds of chariots and soldiers buzzing in and saw a majestic looking person who though looked very old but was towering over others and with imposing physique. He was having flowing white beard and adorned with white crown and was looking regal. Along with him, saw another person who was shining brightly and of modest physique, they both looked very distraught and sad.

Seeing those two men, Kunti mata and Madri mata proceeded towards them and knelt before that majestic looking person and sobbing and calling him Pita Bhishm and he was trying very hard to console them. It was my first glimpse of Pitamah Bhishm, whose feats and deeds were so vividly and lovingly narrated to us by our father. Tears were flowing continuously even after his best efforts to keep them in check and he was trying very hard to console our matas. He was telling them, they should retain their composure as they have to look after the small kids and give them support.

The arrangements for the final rites were complete and our family priest Dhaumya along with other priests made the arrangements for the last rites of my father as per Vedic customs and rituals. I saw our matas moved into the inner quarters of our ashram and after sometime we heard some kind of loud discussions going on between our matas, it was very stunning for us, because we never heard any such thing at our home. Our matas were so friendly with each other and had immense respect for one another, so it was a kind of shock as to why they were having such loud discussions at this hour. We heard Madri mata saying to Kunti mata that she will be bidding farewell to all of us along with our father and Kunti mata should be the one who will take care of us kids and extracted a promise from Kunti mata on that. When finally discussions subsided, Madri mata called all us kids inside the ashram and hugged each of us one by one and was in continuous tears. She asked Yudhi bhai to always act as our guide and follow the instructions of Kunti mata, asked Bhim bhai to look after us and protect us, asked Nakul to curb his naughtiness and listen to Kunti mata and Yudhi bhai, asked Sahadev to follow the footsteps of Yudhi bhai, and finally called me affectionately as ever as my little Arjuna and hugged me tight and said you should always be there for your brothers and mata and support them in every way. I was shell-shocked at these happenings and the thought that she will be no more with us made me fall down at her feet and cry loudly and she pulled me up and hugged me and said you are my brave little Arjuna, you are unique my little boy and you should not cry, you are our hope.

That night was most painful night for us, we not only had to bid final farewell to our beloved father but also to our Madri mata. It was in a way end to our happy childhood which culminated that final day at the ashram in the forests.