My trials, tribulations, triumphs and more... - Arjuna.

Chapter 8: New Start

Already, it has been a couple of months that we arrived at Hastinapur but still the feeling of being away from our ashram and shifting to the new place did not fully sink in. Initially, it was very difficult for us to adjust to the new environment, schedule, food habits, surroundings, people and so on. The loss of one's parents at a young age is probably the worst situation a child could endure. We had mixed feelings over the past few months after our arrival at Hastinapur, we could feel the genuine warmth of our Bhishma pitamah, Gandhari mata, Vidhur kaka and almost of all our cousins, specially Vikarna, Yuyutsu and Duhshala. But, at the same time, we could clearly see the anger, disgust and restlessness on part of Duryodhan, Dushshasan, and uncle Shakuni. Initially, it was difficult for us to gauge the real feelings of our bade Pitashree Dhritrashtra, even though we could make out that he was not exactly feeling blissful of having us at the palace but he did not openly show the emotions of anger and disgust which we could clearly see in Duryodhan, and Uncle Shakuni. May be, that was an error in judgement on our part with regards to understanding the true nature of our bade Pitashree, which later on in our life landed us in horrible circumstances.

During the initial time at Hastinapur, I had to endure some nightmarish dreams every other day which caused breathlessness and anxiety for me and mata Kunti got very scared to see me in such terrible situation. I used to wake up suddenly in the night and scream for my father Pandu and Madri mata and cry endlessly. As I was a very emotional and sensitive individual, so it took a bit of time for me to overcome such tragedy.

In order to make me overcome such terrible dreams, mata Kunti got an idea and requested Pitamah Bhishma, if I could sleep with my Pitamah at nights. May be, she thought that since I was very fond of listening to stories concerning battles and heroic tales, so if Pitamah Bhishma could recite those stories at nights, may be my nightmares would vanish and I would sleep peacefully. Our Pitamah Bhishma readily and smilingly agreed to it and there it started our memorable and loving relationship which would last till the culmination of our lives' journey. I often used to call my Pitamah Bhishma as Pitah and on many occasions he smilingly tried to correct me to call him as Pitamah and not Pitah. But, I was not going to do that, I found the same warmth, friendliness and love which my father Pandu extended to me in my Pitamah Bhishma too. I refused to call him Pitamah and lovingly used to call him Pitashree. I could feel he was also thrilled to have been called as such. As far as I remember, I was the only one amongst all our cousins who would call him Pitashree. I don't know what good deeds I did to get such unconditional love from my Pitamah. Sometimes, he used to caress my thick curly hair gently and murmur in my ears saying that I was his god gifted son and he too feels elated when I called him Pitashree. The unbreakable and loving bond which I shared with my Pitamah, the one which I was not able to forget all my life made me extremely vulnerable and prevented me to go at full throttle against my Pitahmah at Kurukshetra.

Every night, after our dinner, Pitamah used to take me to his chamber and recite me wonderful stories concerning various battles fought with bravery, and stories related to courage and compassion and after listening to such marvelous stories I used to sleep happily and peacefully beside him. When I reflect now, may be, these stories and the bond which I developed with my Pitamah had a lasting impact on my character. I was always against ruthless carnage and loss of lives and most of the times I quickly and decisively finished the battles, so as to avoid large scale destruction and loss of soldiers.

Few things which I noticed during my childhood with regards to my appearance that made me a bit different as compared to others were my thick and curly hair and my skin colour, the tone of which was a bit rare, it was not totally dark but had a tinge of silvery dark to it giving a rare complexion. Even when I was past my prime, the hair was still jet black and masses of curly hair flowing wildly, hence I had difficult time adjusting my hair.

Our sister Duhshala was very fond of music and dance, and she was very talented as well in those arts. I got interested in music due to the influence of my sister Duhshala. In the evenings, we used to gather around in the music chamber in the palace. We got trained in playing different kinds of instruments by our music teacher. Music teacher used to set up competition between musicians and dancers and he used to make us play different instruments, while Duhshala along with her friends used to dance to those tunes. Most of the times, it was Duhshala's team which used to win the competition, because as a group all of them were magnificent. And we boys, which I mean by Nakul, Vikarna, Sahadev and myself used to practice playing various instruments. I was very fond of Veena and used to play it regularly, but it was my second love though as my first love was always the 'bow'. Nakul and Vikarna were very skilled at playing various musical instruments and Sahadev was awesome at singing and he had a very distinct voice which was so good to hear. Bhim bhai was never interested in these arts, as his interests were in having wrestling matches, building up of muscles, and so on. Nevertheless, Bhim bhai once tried his hand at playing tabla but unfortunately after few minutes itself, the tabla got smashed into pieces and that was the first and last time Bhim bhai ever turned up into the music chamber. Yudhi bhai too was not much interested in music and dance, and he used to spend most of the time at the palace library reading voluminous books concerning various topics ranging from Neeti Shastras to Rule of Law and so on. Yudhi bhai used to immerse himself fully with books and always had a bit of serious streak in him, may be sometimes I feel Yudhi bhai due to various reasons did not enjoy the childhood fully as we did. I think may be partly it had to do with him being the eldest one and taking up responsibility and partly due to his nature itself. 

Slowly, I started to get a bit annoyed and uncomfortable at the not so innocent stares of Duhshala's friends. During the practice sessions in the evenings, they used to constantly stare and give some naughty smiles to me and Nakul. Nakul was perhaps the most good looking boy, so it was natural for him to get the stares and loving looks from the girls and initially he used to enjoy such attention but slowly it also got on his nerves. I was not comfortable at the intense stares I was getting from Duhshala's friends and after a period I stopped coming to the music chamber and soon after I totally got immersed both day and night with my first love which was the bow and put a stop to my music interests. But, this did not relent Duhshala's friends though and they started to gather at my practice sessions with the bow as well. 

Almost a year or so passed by after our arrival at Hastinapur, and by this time we all got well settled in our new home. One day our Pitamah Bhishma summoned us all in his chamber and he said it was the right time we start getting our initial real-time lessons in weapons training and combat, knowledge of shastras, and so on and for this he entrusted the responsibility on Guru Kripacharya.

Guru Kripacharya was our kul guru (family guru) and he started giving us basic lessons on how to wield different kinds of weapons and various techniques. Each of us brothers had a favourite weapon. Yudhi bhai's favourite was the spear, whereas Bhim bhai loved the mace, and sword was the weapon of choice for Nakul and Sahadev and of course bow was my most loved weapon. Guru Kripacharya made us train with various kinds of weapons and not just our favourite weapons, the thinking behind this was as Kshatriyas we always have to be ready to face any uncertain and unexpected situation and to tackle such situations better, it was very important to get conversant in wielding various kinds of weapons. This was a very smart move on part of our Guru Kripacharya, because we have to take the aid of different kinds of weapons in different circumstances, for example if it is a long range combat, then proficiency in archery would be decisive, whereas for short range combat use of maces, swords etc., would prove more beneficial. This was a very enjoyable period for us, as we all loved weapons training, even Yudhi bhai very much loved these sessions.