My trials, tribulations, triumphs and more... - Arjuna.

Chapter 36: Emotions

The wise words of Maharishi Veda Vyas and our dear cousin Krishna gave us the needed direction on how to handle the delicate situation and it also eased some of the immense turmoil we were experiencing. As per the advice of the sage, we decided that the next morning, we will be meeting Maharaj Drupad to inform him about the situation and discuss further. As my mind and heart were lacing with heavy emotions, so I desperately wanted to have a talk with Draupadi in private but could not muster enough courage to look into her lotus eyes. To ease the thoughts running wild in my mind, I went outside the hut to get occupied with some activity. Since, the situation was very delicate and unusual, so I guess rest of my brothers thought about easing their minds too and took permission from Kunti mata and went about in different directions to collect the alms and bring in the needed items like fire wood, oil, food items, some fruits, kusha grass, and so on. Daily gathering for essentials in the forests had become key part of our life for survival.

I sat on the ground near the stone platform which we had built for sharpening the arrows. My mind was still fuzzy, but to escape from the pounding of pain in my heart, I started sharpening the arrows by rubbing them hard against the stone platform. As per my remembrance, it was probably the first instance where my concentration wavered during such a mundane activity and it resulted in a deep cut on my left hand and blood was oozing. I was so immersed in my thoughts that I continued with the activity without paying any attention to my injured hand. But, soon felt some tears as hot as raging fire fell on my hand which brought me out of the trance. I looked up and saw Draupadi with cloth, and turmeric powder in her hands and was looking pale with tears flowing from her beautiful eyes. For a moment, I failed to recognize what was going on, but was shortly brought to my senses by Draupadi's brisk action of applying turmeric powder and bandaging the injured hand with the cloth.

I was about to collapse looking at the pale face of Draupadi covered with tears but soon collected myself and in a gentle tone commented to the princess 'Your tears are precious to me and it pricks my heart, please don't waste them on a person like me'. That mention brought a fierce reaction from the beautiful princess, and she immediately stood up and boldly stated, 'You are infinitely precious to me, I can withstand any pain be it physical or emotional but will not be able to survive if any harm occurs to you nor will I be able to sit quiet, if anyone tries to belittle you. I fell in love with you the instant I saw you in the Swayamvar, and those cherished moments are precious to me and nothing will erase those beautiful moments etched in the deepest recesses of my heart. I can understand your turmoil and now at this moment I free you from any guilt which you are harbouring in your heart. Being the daughter of AgniDev, I can withstand any situation and will stand strong and do my duties with utmost sincerity'.

Those heartwarming words from the princess brought instant succour to me. She was showering unconditional love through her bewitching eyes and the distinct fragrance emanating from her body resembling that of the lotus, engulfed the prevailing doomed atmosphere with life, love, and hope. At that moment, no doubt was left in mind that I was the luckiest person in the whole world to have a person like Draupadi in their life. From that day onwards till the end of our life, we remained more as best friends rather than the usual husband and wife. We did not need explicit words or forceful actions to understand one another and to convey our feelings of respect and love. Sometimes, a mere silence or an eye-contact was enough to understand one another because our hearts were already intertwined the moment we had that unforgettable and memorable eye-lock during the Swayamvar. I think even Maharishi Veda Vyas will find it difficult to ignore some special moments of chemistry and camaraderie between us and I am sure he will duly record it in the epic.

I had a reserved nature, so it was a bit difficult for me to openly express my feelings, most of the time I tried my best to control my emotions. I truly opened up only in the company of my cousin Madhav. Apart from him, to a great extent Draupadi was the only person with whom I was able to talk and express freely on a consistent basis. And, this time the heartwarming and emotional words from Draupadi stirred something in me and I threw caution to wind and immediately stood up from the ground and gave a bone crushing hug to Draupadi, which almost made us fall on the ground. I was surprised to see myself indulge in such open expression of thankfulness, relief and love. But, Draupadi never shrieked from expressing herself freely, and even though she was initially shocked and was hurt a little physically too by the sudden reaction but her ringing laughter brought indescribable joy to me. This was my first experience of enjoying such unconditional love from my beloved and it was a moment to cherish fro lifetime. We bath sat on the stone platform for sometime, no words were spoken but the need of the hour was to just feel each other's presence and that brought immense relief to both our souls.

Before returning to the hut, I kissed that arrow and was thankful to it, as it did the magical work in helping the heart-to-heart talk, and liberated me from the stress and emotional pain I was going through.

After a while, rest of my brothers returned back to the hut and brought along with them the needed essentials for preparing meals. We all were super tired due to the emotional roller coaster all day through and dearly wanted some nice supper and retire to sleep as soon as possible, as we also had to wake up early next day to go and meet Maharaj Drupad. Kunti mata prepared delicious meal, she was a great cook and Bhim bhai became an expert cook under her tutelage. I was so pleased to see the humble attitude of the princess while she was assisting Kunti Mata in the kitchen. Being a princess and accustomed to luxury, I was not sure if she was ready to live life of a commoner, but I was sorely mistaken, the princess of Panchal was an exceptional woman in all aspects. I thought to myself, what a divine combination of characters she possessed, not only was an exceptional outward beauty but her heart was as pure mata Ganga.