Sissy Boy

•41•

  I quickly rushed towards the wardrobe and grabbed the first pair of shorts I could find on my side. I then grabbed my phone and rushed out of the room. I jogged down the stairs, almost tripping over the steps.

  I was gonna find him. I was gonna see him again, touch him again. Tell him how sorry I was, tell him everything. I felt the adrenaline rush down to my legs as I jogged over to the front door.

"Where are you going?" I heard a raspy monotone.

My legs immediately went weak. I stopped, turning towards the dimly lit living room. Seated on the couch and glancing at my direction was a bleary eyed Harry. He was seated on the far end of the couch, the only source of light was a lamp and he seemed to be reading under it's light.

    I bit down on my lip anxiously, walking closer to him, stalling, trying to think of an excuse. As soon as I was close enough, I saw that he wasn't reading. It was a photo album.

  Instead of answering him, I leaned in closer, staring at the little boy in the picture. he was missing two teeth but his smile was still so beautiful and you could really see the glint of joy in his familiar hazel eyes. His plump cheeks perked up. His hair was a messy brown and he was seated on a woman's lap.

  I now took time to look at the woman. She had a similar head of hair only curly and it flowed down her dainty arms, almost making her look like a cute overgrown child. She had a little pointy nose and I could see the reflection of the camera's flash in her eyes.

  Her eyes seemed familiar. They were mostly a deep forest green, white specs were scattered upon them and the dull grey lining around her orbs were beautiful. They were just like mine, oh gosh.

Why are you so grouchy most of the time? I had asked him that day we both first skipped school.

  I remembered how heavily and deeply he stared into my eyes before mindlessly whispering out the word mummy. I knew it was suspicious but I hadn't questioned him that day.

"I asked you a question?" He threw the book shut, now looking up at me.

"Was that her?" I asked and his gaze shifted back to the book.

"It's late, you should get to bed" he tried shrugging but I was adamant.

  I tried opening the book but he flinched once my fingers grazed the cover. Slowly, my fingers moved over to the edge, opening the book.

  On the first page was a family picture. Ryder looked way younger and his smile was wider than I'd ever seen. To his right was his mom, the resemblance wasn't much but it was there. He got most of his qualities from the man standing to his right, Harry. The build, those charming eyes and that extremely sexy but cute messy brown hair.

  I chuckled a bit but it faded once a teardrop landed on the smiling boy's face. I wasn't crying.

  I took a seat next to him and my phone suddenly made a sound again. I looked down at my phone.

Luther: Hurry

   I ignored the message, looking up at the crying man by my side. I hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder and he flinched, taking a deep breath before flipping the page. It was the picture I had seen first.

"I miss her" he whispered and another tear dropped, this time on her face.

"Harry" he took another deep breath.

"Aleister, I ruined everything" he sobbed some more as he spoke.

"It wasn't your fault, it was probably just her time" I felt my eyes begin to sting now.

"I..I know, I ruined him" he corrected, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

"After she left I broke, Aleister, we did"  he sniffled before continuing.

"We both tried drowning ourselves in alcohol" he broke into more sobs and I instinctively wrapped my arms around as much of him as I could.

"I let him get worse, I'm his father for crying out loud, I was all he had after she left but what good are two broken people to each other" he flipped over to the first page now, looking down at the group picture.

"I could've done something, taken responsibility and cared for my son but no, what did I do" he asked rhetorically.

"I let him break more while I went away to get help. I abandoned my broken little boy to get help and when I got the help, I betrayed the sanctity of the love he had for her and decided to remarry"  he threw his head back, shutting his eyes as more tears streamed down the sides of his eyes.

"Harry don't say that" I finally spoke up and my own tears fell.

"No, it's true" I shook my head at him.

"My son is a damn cigarette smoker and not to mention his poor mental health" he shut the book, standing up this time, prying himself out of my arms

"Harry get yourself together" I tried, getting up too.

"I can't knowing my poor son is out there somewhere" he whispered, his glossy and scared eyes signalled me that he was thinking of the worst possible scenario.

"He's okay, I know nothing's gonna happen to him" I spoke confidently.

"Dear God I hope so but that doesn't change the fact that he may try something" I bit down in my lip.

"If he does then I'm going along with him, I won't stay alive carrying the guilt that it was all because of me" his face paled and I walked away, heading for the front door.

  My phone got another message alert and I looked at it.

Luther: What's taking you so long?

  My hand reached for the knob and I looked back at him.

"I'm going to him and I'm not coming back to this house without him" I said and he stared at me through emotionally exhausted eyes. I sighed lightly, stepping out and closing the door behind me.

  It was a chilly night and shorts and a huge tee weren't exactly a good idea but I didn't care. My eyes gazed over to the left and then the right where I spotted a motorcycle.

  I looked closer at the face of the rider. I let out a sigh of relief once I noticed it was Luther. I instinctively wrapped my arms around my body, jogging over to him.

"Hey what took you?" He asked but I shrugged, ignoring the question.

"Um you said you knew where he was" I stated anxiously and he nodded.

"After your dad came looking for him at my place, I gave him a call, Aleister he sounded terrible, broken and I jus...I couldn't bear it" I bit down on my lip nervously. Knowing that I was the reason for all this was heart breaking.

"He told you?" I asked and he nodded sharply.

"He can never hide a thing from me" I didn't miss the small pang of jealousy I felt at his words but I concealed it.

"S..so um does he know you're taking me to him?" I asked and he shook his head, staring down.

"I...I know you're the only one that could possibly make him feel better so I thought it'd be best um...if you went to see him" he stated shyly and my eyes narrowed down at the sunken head.

"You're a good friend" he looked up at me and I didn't miss the glossy reflection of street lights.

"Um are you okay?" He ignored my question, starting the bike.

"Get on" he instructed and I obeyed shyly.

"Here" he handed me a helmet and I took it from his hands. It was heavier than I expected.

  I put the helmet on and proceeded to nervously wrap my arms tightly round his torso and in a trail of dust and fumes, we were off.

Next chapter is gonna be the last...*sighs*