To Be A Warrior

Chapter 4: Words Fail

It's quiet here in the coms shack. The events of a few days ago have finally caught up to everyone now, with the V-Types and the Last Riders and all that. It's left us feeling drained and slightly defeated as we try to think of a way to pick things back up again, since the peace conference went so poorly.

No such luck, unfortunately.

All it takes is a slight bristle, a shift, an inhale, and  eyes snap up from my lap. Concern strikes me in the chest when Sam sighs shakily and runs his hands through his hair as he looks at the computer screen.

"Anything?" I ask, and the ache inside me grows when he starts picking at his sleeves, turning just enough in his chair to be polite, but not looking me in the eye.

"Valmont's finally emailed me back about the floppy disks."

I straighten. "And?"

My heart sinks when he looks at me. There are tears in his eyes as he shakes his head.

"He said there's nothing."

"Oh, Sweetheart," I say, standing and rushing over to him.

He doesn't even stand, just wraps his arms around me and buries his face just below my chest. His fingers clutch at my shirt as he starts to cry, too tired and hurt to hold back. He's been waiting days for this, checking Roufflenet every hour since we got back from the peace conference. He's been praying for something-anything about Nikki.

This type of letdown is soul crushing, and I don't know how to make it better.

So I just stand there, stroking his hair as he cries, the mounting sobs shaking his shoulders and stealing his breath. My own eyes sting with tears at seeing him like this.

"I'm so sorry," I murmur, but he doesn't say anything back. He just keeps holding onto me as I try to whisper soothing words to him, hoping to offer some comfort, even though I know deep down I can't even begin to understand his pain, or how to soothe it.

My hands move from stroking his hair down to his shoulders, and I cringe at how tense he is. I slowly, gently, remove his hands from my shirt, keeping his fingers intertwined in mine as I pull him up and lead him to the bed, allowing us both to sit down. I pull him close, his hands wrapping around me again as I bring my hand up to wipe away the tears that stream down his face.

His red-rimmed eyes won't look into mine, but I don't push him.  Instead I lean forward and kiss the red blotches that appear on his skin as he hiccups on another sob.

"I know this sucks, and I'm so sorry we don't have any new leads," I whisper, "but this isn't the end. Even if those files don't have anything on her, that doesn't mean we won't find her. I won't stop until we do, okay? And I don't care where I have to look. I mean, I basically went dumpster diving just to find you before."

That finally seems to get a watery smile out of him, and my heart soars at the sight.

"I doubt you'll have to do that," He says, his voice raspy. A few stray tears still leak from his eyes, and I wipe them away as tenderly as possible. "Nikki is my younger sister, but she's a lot smarter than me. She'd find a better hiding place... And because of that I know she's probably okay, and so we can go on with everything else that's making our lives miserable."

"Oh, no, you don't get to pull a me and push your problems away to focus on the main goal," I say, twisting him around to where his back is facing me. I don't give him a chance to protest. "Just let me do this. You're tense as hell and I doubt sitting in that chair that's two seconds from collapsing is helping any."

Despite the slight bite in my words, my hands are gentle when they rest on his shoulders. "We're doing everything we can to make a plan in stopping the Last Riders and the V-Types. That one we saw before was the first one out of Battenbury, and even though it infected a few others... I'm sure it'll be fine. We can worry about your sister too."