Royal Imitation | Kylo Ren

National Anthem

My mind was running as fast as a thousand horses could sprint away from their chains, whilst my heart was beating at a maddening pace.

In the gloom of night, there is steam, rising in short swirls of music and cheers which dance through the air and to the silent clouds, then disappearing into the twilight, whilst the warmth of a celebration, fires in the heart of the Kingdom.

As our feet click down the halls, I clung onto my expensive dress nervously, whilst many paints and lip-stains were beginning to flush heavily due to the silence between us as we made our way to the banquet, which celebrated my birthday that was supposably yesterday – Despite the fact that my true birthday was months ago.

As Kylo and I, finally walked out into the courtyards, the soft wind hit my crimson face, giving me a cooling edge that tried to quiet down the invisible worries and ponders that have cradled my mind, shaking it with a violent shock of misunderstanding.

No matter how long I had stared at the ceiling, looking through the rich wall-paints, I couldn't find an answer in the tiny details as to why Ruby and Anwar were so secretly talking in the stables yesterday. My stomach churns unceasingly. What was so important between the two, that neither of them, especially Anwar – My best-friend – Couldn't, or haven't told me?

My mind is constantly erupting and my eyes flicker around the courtyards with every new fabrication of answers that I try to come up with. Like a tangled yarn, my assumptions have been knotted around and no longer can I find my needle that is the key to all my questions.

Without the rain beading down onto the soil anymore and only drizzling like soft mist, I can't even grip onto the reality that sprays so thinly like the cloud's tears, for all I know truely now, is that I am not the only best kept secret in this palace and whilst mine is wrapped in barb-wire, Ruby Mayse's are covered in multiple signs that deter people from even assuming she could be keeping any secrets – After all, she is one of the King's most trusted, and the Princess' best-friend... What could she have to hide? Well, I know that she has the real Princess hidden away somewhere, but what did Anwar have to do with that?

And why has Anwar locked himself into something, without even telling me about a key? What is he hiding as-well?

It's torturing my soul: Knowing that I am stuck unknowing, for I can't even confide into the person who I thought could draw stars around my scars, for he seems to be trading those stars for secrets with the very person who I hate more than the man beside me, who is cursing me with shadows of thrills and destruction.

I walked by him, lithe even in my defensive, armoured heart. If it was my destiny to be sacrificed to this beast, I presume that at least, the rest of my flesh-wounds could heal but I am only lost crawling along the shattered glass of my past, trying to find answers for my future in the cracked reflections.

Previously, I thought I was just chained in this Kingdom, wearing a virginal white dress which awaited being married off to Kylo Ren, but slowly along the way, my dress has collected dust. The riots of the slums. The orchards dying in the storms. The First Order enlistments. Ruby knowing the whereabouts of the Princess but keeping it away from the King. There's so many layers of dust that are not just fluttering onto my dress, but drenching it as if they were anchors to my chest, and all I want is to pull myself out from beneath the weight of all these secrets and torturous turnings of fate.

All I need is clarity, but in this stolen lullaby of my sinking past and uncertain survival, I cannot figure out whose name I should curse out for saviour, because now I feel as if I am being smothered by the dirt that everyone I am surrounded by, shovels onto my casket – Some wearing the same jewels that line my crown and others, wearing the same soil beneath their nails, to my funeral of lost hope and certainty.