CHAPTER 14

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"Hello," I said in a soft, almost cracking voice.

"Well, there's nothing I wanna talk about. I'm hanging up Divya." Pranay said in a cold, harsh and unusual tone. I never saw him behaving like this and indeed I was scared.

"No-no-no, please! Please Pranay. At least tell me what happened?" I said. He didn't hang up, but he kept quiet.

"Is it about our fight the other day? C'mon Pranay you know Reyansh is just a friend and I realize the fact that you are insecure and jealous of him, but there's no need to feel like that. We can't break up for this shitty reason; you know I love you right?"

I was hoping that this would calm him a bit, but his silence made me more and more frightened. And finally, he spoke up.

"Oh Divya, do you have a little bit of benevolence and shame left in you? I must say that I'm quite amazed by your audacity to say all this shit" He yelled all of sudden.

It took me moments to process his words in my head. How could he be so rude to me?

"Have you lost your senses Pranay? What are you talking about?" I said as my voice rose a bit.

"Why are you doing this to me Divya?" Suddenly his tone changed and it felt like he's about to cry.

"Doing What?" I couldn't understand anything.

"Just stop pretending. I know everything you did" he said.

I swear I've never been this patient in my whole life. He was blabbering everything except 'What I did to him' which apparently I DON'T KNOW!

"And I'm sorry did you say that Reyansh is JUST your friend? I think I misheard it" He again said in an extremely sarcastic and rude tone, stressing on the word 'just'.

"No, you heard right. He's my friend" I said in a cold manner.

"WELL 'JUST FRIENDS' DON'T KISS EACH OTHER!" He shouted on top of his voice, causing me to put away the phone from my ear.

Soon my fear turned into anger, disgust and frustration. I may appear like a girl who makes quick decisions in her 'love life' but I'm not a slut and I'd never kiss someone when I'm already in a relationship. I was so outraged I wanted to throw the phone.

"Are you high on some sort of cannabis or marijuana?" I said not knowing how to regulate my anger.

"No" he replied.

"Then stop behaving like a manic okay. Why the fuck would I kiss Reyansh! I do hang out with him at school but we never even talk about such stuff let alone 'kissing each other'." I shouted.

"Stop lying to me Divya, I know the truth," he said.

"IT'S NOT A LIE," I said.

"If just for once, for once you'd have told me that you like him I'd have happily let you go. Because our relationship was more than 'just being together' and being quoted as 'Boyfriend and Girlfriend' by others. I love you for being who you are and I'm always happy in your happiness and it doesn't matter if I'm a part of your happiness or not". His voice cracked as he said and certainly, he was crying.

"But what I hate and can't tolerate is being lied to. And this time we're over." He said again.

"I don't understand why does everything go on according to your whims  Pranay? You think you should stop talking to your girlfriend, you do it and don't even give a reason for doing so. You decide that she's cheating on you, based on some gossip you heard from people who aren't even close to you. Now some random person said that I kissed Reyansh and you believed it and now you're breaking up with me! When will you consider my thoughts, opinions and what I WANT?" I was almost on the verge of tears as I said.

"It wasn't some random person Divya. It was your SISTER. She said that your PE teacher has told your Mom and Dad that you were caught kissing Reyansh in a classroom." he said.

I didn't know what to feel or what to say. My sister manipulated the whole incident and presented it. I never thought she'd do it and the worst part is that Pranay trusts my sister more than me! I couldn't stop crying.

"Your silence tells me everything Divya," he said after some time.

"It's a lie Pranay. Please just trust me, you believe everyone except me. My parents did talk to the teacher but she just said that I hang out with Reyansh and this whole 'kissing' thing is a lie. We can talk to Reyansh right now and you'll know the truth."

"The only thing which is a lie is your love," he said in a low voice.

"Pranay what..." I was about to say when he interrupted me and said;

"Just be happy with him and I love you" and he hung up.

...

Weeks passed and things became worse. Pranay blocked me from everywhere, even my number.

I persuaded my sister to confess to Pranay that it was a lie but she denied because she thought that she did the right thing and Pranay was not good for me. There's something in her coz of which people shut their mouths in front of her and this is both, her best and worst quality. And of course, I didn't have the courage to fight back for myself.

Reyansh after knowing that I broke up with Pranay, thought that he had a clear chance with me now and we did come closer. I don't know why I was doing it. Probably I was attracted to him but more importantly, the fact that he waited for me for so long and now that I'm single, I owe him a relationship was the main reason why I was letting him come close to me. Even though I myself didn't want things to be like this, but I couldn't hurt him. I started lying to myself and pretended that I like him just for the sake of his happiness.

I know it was a mistake. Everything I was doing was a mistake and I kept bottling up the guilt. Every time I was with Reyansh, I thought how Pranay would feel when he'll know all this. I was actually becoming the person Pranay thought I was.

My life became an endless loop between both the boys and a bunch of mistakes and lies and I started hating myself.

Sometimes, you're just unlucky and every fucking thing which happens in your life makes it worse. I failed in Chemistry and did very poor in all the other subjects in the exams. The girl who's been getting full marks and holding the 'Rank-1' her whole life, FAILED IN A SUBJECT.

And now, the finals were coming up and I didn't have the slightest clue that 'Where to start from?'.

Things were just slipping from my hands and I couldn't do anything about it.

I didn't have the guts to express myself and what was I doing or what was going on in my life to anyone. Because people may give you sympathy and support you when they come to know that how bad others have done to you but no one will stand beside you when he/she would know how bad YOU did to someone else no matter how guilty you feel.

They just judge you for being who you are and trust me, this is the worst feeling ever.




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To the 4-5 people who actually read every chapter of my book XD -

I'm sorry for not uploading another chapter for so long. I had a lot of stuff going on so couldn't write. But I'll try to be consistent from now on.

Thank you, and do vote :)

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