𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙚𝙧, 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙚𝙧

17 | Ryder's Past.

I made my way through my next few lessons though without much joy and finally it was time for lunch. I had to talk to Lexie about everything. She was the only one who know about the full plan and she understands me well.

Approaching her I said, 'Hey Lex...ummm we need to talk.' my face sinking as I just realised the consequences of my words earlier that morning.

'Okay yeah sure,' she said her face falling slightly after seeing mine. 'Talk to me.'

So I did, I told her about the whole locker situation and then what happened in the classroom and how I told Ryder it was all just a game and I didn't actually have feelings for him. Lexie listened and didn't interrupt me once. She sat there and let me pour out all my problems to her.

'Hmmm,' she said once I had finally finished ranting. 'Listen I know you're not gonna like what I have to say but, it looks like you do have feelings for you. You might have caught them along the way and didn't have them initially but you do like him and you just said what you did this morning to push him away because he was getting too close.'

Her words hit me like a truck. I hadn't been expecting her to be so blunt and even though I had been avoiding my feelings apparently Lexie hadn't and she just layed it all out for me clearly. I didn't really know how to reply to her so I just mumbled, 'I guess?'

Before she could reply back to me, she saw someone heading our way as her eyes widened and I turned around to see who the culprit was. It was none other that Ryder's best friend, Alec. Turning away, I rolled my eyes not wanting to deal with Ryder or his mates.

'Raven, look I wouldn't be here unless it was important ok? So just hear me out.' He began and I turned back around to face him. 'Have you seen Ryder?'

'No why would I?' I replied now confused.

'Well, umm no one's seen him since break, he's also not answering his phone and the last person to see him apparently was you?' He questioned somewhat uncertain.

'Oh, umm no I haven't seen him since break either,' I replied starting to get slightly worried about the missing boy.

'Oh ok.' Alex said worry filling his face at the thought of his missing best friend. 'I'll leave you to it then,' he said beginning to depart.

Just then Lexie hit me on my arm to which I shouted 'Oww!'

'Go after Alec and help him find Ryder!' she said practically screaming. 'Show him you do care and try to fix things between the two of you! God knows you're both in love with each other!'

Her words weren't what I was expecting but nevertheless I shouted 'WAIT' at Alec to which he looked at me confused. 'Let me come with you to find him.' The boy hadn't been expecting the words that left my mouth but shrugged and waited for me to catch up to him anyways.

When we had left the gaze of curious eyes from the cafeteria he turned to me and asked, 'What did you say to him? He doesn't ever not answer his phone unless he needs to think and is hurt badly.'

'Oh,' I began starting to feel rather guilty about hurting Ryder 'I ummm...said that I didn't have feelings for him and never would and that I was just playing him' looking up at Alec waiting for his reaction.

His jaw dropped and he started to get angry, 'Really? How much of a bitch could you be? That boy loves you. Has done ever since he's laid eyes on you. Your little movies and cuddles are special to him! He doesn't do that with any other girls. Goddamit Raven! He loves you and you just broke his heart. No wonder he's distraught!'

Hearing his words made be feel both guilty and frustrated, 'You know your best friend. He's a player and I wanted to teach him a lesson. I didn't ask for Ryder to fall in love with me and I didn't ask for me to love him back! I just wanted to show he he's no longer the king of this pathetic school okay?' I screamed but, my face dropped as I realised I just confessed my love for the resident player to his best friend.

'You love him?' He questioned quickly, the air around us had changed both of us calming down.

I don't know what about Alec made me confess but I did, 'Yeah I do okay? I didn't expect him to make me like him and I didn't like it so I push him away. I didn't know how else to react!' starting to get annoyed at myself for my actions.

Alec's face softened at my frustration, 'You should have just told Ryder that. He's not all bad you know? He would have understood.'

'What do you mean?' I asked curious to know what the boy had meant.

Sighing he said 'Ryder's going to kill me for telling you but I think you deserve to know. Ryder wasn't always a player. In fact he only became a player within the past three years after completing rebranding himself. Hell, many people don't even remember the old Ryder. He used to be a quiet kid. Someone who got good grades and went about his business. Then at one point during the school year this girl who used to go here started paying him a little more attention and soon enough the two of them hit it off. She was Ryder's first and only girlfriend. Ryder fell for her hard. He loved her like she was the only girl in the world. After their first year of dating she dumped him and brutally, she caused a scene in front of the whole school and said that she was only using him to get her grades up to get a scholarship to some school she wanted to go too and she did. She dumped Ryder, got into her dream school and transferred. Ryder on the other hand, was broken. He felt humiliated and angry so much so he changed himself completely and became the player. No one knows about Ryder's past and if they do they sure as hell don't mention it.' he finished letting out a huge breath he didn't realise he had been holding in.

Upon hearing all this I only felt worse, 'So you're saying I essentially did to Ryder what his first love did to him?' my voice came out small barely a whisper.

'Yes.'

Oh god what have I done?