Resisting Aaron Wells

c h a p t e r, t w e l v e.

Walking into my apartment I immediately begin to doubt my decision. Why the hell did I say he could come over? My mind must've still been frazzled, goodness, I shouldn't have done this.

The door shuts and I'm reminded that Aaron is right behind me. He had waited in his car seeing as he left a little earlier than I had, I turn ready to tell him that this is a mistake.

His hand is already stretching out towards me, it grips the back of my neck bringing our faces together — moulding his lips with mine. It's unexpected but gladly reciprocated, kissing this man feels like winning the Olympics.

Fuck.

My desire for him, my need for his hands to be all over my body is deafening. I had never in my life wanted to be with someone so badly, why?

Was it because he was finally 'available,' or was it because we just made so much sense. Not puzzle piece perfect but just two people who understood one another, two people unknowingly willing to become a perfect piece.

Maybe it was just simply because — I immediately pull away, "We shouldn't be doing this." My hands find my hair as I begin to pace.

I want to scream at our selfishness, I want to scream at my stupidity but instead I just mutter, "Why are we doing this?"

He's looking at me with the kindest eyes even though I know those hands and those hips don't want to handle me as kindly, "Why are you doing this to yourself? We're adults, Zoe, to be frank we could do whatever the fuck we want. And if that means each other, so what?"

"Is that all you want from me!? Aaron, I've been in love with you since a month into our friendship. I don't just want to fuck you, I want to love you too. I can't do this because I don't just want that, I want you too and I can't do that... I can't fucking have you."

The tears are heavy on my eyelids and I know one blink will have them tumbling over, I just told him everything. I just told him what I wish he had told me that morning, or even that damn night. What I wished I could've told him for everyday after that night.

Everyday after a month of freaking knowing him.

He steps towards me slowly, as though his steps could trigger the cascade of tears. His thumbs gently brush against my cheeks and I realise the waterworks have already begun. He's silent as he wipes my tears away, "You're in love with me?"

It should sound stupid because — sir, I know you heard me but it doesn't. It sounds pained.

His eyes shut and he lets out a ragged breath, "I ruined everything," he kisses my forehead before taking a step back taking my hands in his, "I never believed in love at first sight until you. At first I thought it was just intrigue, you just had a different kind of aura. So, I decided that I needed to know if you were as different as I had assumed you were

"and my fuck, I was right."

His head shakes lightly as he lightly traps his bottom lip between his teeth, "You exceeded my expectations, dammit Zoe, you're damn near perfect in my eyes. I stayed with Jen because I believed that what I had with her was love, she was my high school sweetheart — how could that not be love? But you came and changed everything. I realised that night that it's you, I've been waiting for you, holding out my full capacity for you, building myself, building a life I could give to my future for you.

"It all just crashed down on me, I wanted to tell you as soon as we climaxed and I know, I know how it sounds but in that exact moment I just knew I had never in my life loved someone the way I love you."

He pulls my head into his chest as his arms wrap around me, "And I'm so damn sorry I didn't tell you, I should've told you. I should've just let the words slip. I'm so sorry I did this to us, I'm even more sorry I listened to you."

I immediately pull away, "What do you mean? I never told you to leave —"

"You told me to stay, you put April's needs above your own and you told me to stay with her."

I remember it so well, my greatest fuck up.

I had just walked out of Monica's kitchen and April was upstairs. It was a few days after the introductory dinner with April so a few days after we had realised we were back in one another's lives.

His hand reached out and grabbed my arm, I looked down at his hand on my forearm and frowned. What the hell does he want? I thought.

"Yes, Aaron?" I ripped my arm out of his grasp, folding it with my other as I looked up at the man.

He ran a hand through his hair, "Are we not going to tell her?" His eyes darted to the kitchen entrance, obviously signally April's general direction.

Or maybe checking the coast, who knows now.

My eyes narrowed, "I will cut your dick off if you do and I'm not kidding. As far as she knows we don't know each other so don't even try it. You left and then we never spoke for a year, so we don't know each other. I just met you and you're my best friend's boyfriend. That's it." I walked away without another glance.

I pretended not to know him or to even care about him from that day forward.

I was horrible, no wonder he stayed with her. I wouldn't want to be with me either if I were him. I was cold hearted and unapproachable.

Shaking my head at the thought the tears bring themselves to the brim once more, "I'm so sorry, Aaron, all this time I've been blaming you but you're right. Dammit, Zeus was right — I shouldn't have done that. I should have just told her, telling her then would've been better than telling her now." I lowered myself onto the couch, my hands covering my face as my elbows balanced on my knees.

Aaron lowered himself before gently removing my hands, "It's alright, Zoe, we have to forgive ourselves. We have to forgive ourselves first before we can forgive each other. I love you still, nothing will change that. We've got time."

My hands grabbed onto his shoulders before I brought his lips to mine. I kissed him with every lingering piece of emotion I had and this time I didn't feel guilty for it.

I felt loved.

We pull away and he brushes my curls away from my face, a light smile on his face. His ears are the lightest shade of pink and so are his cheeks, he almost looks like the same kid I met all those years ago.

"I should go, we both need the rest." His thumb caressing my cheek as he speaks.

He shows no signs of leaving so I stay rooted to my spot, feeling as though my cheek and his thumb are magnetically pulled to one another. His eyes are searching mine and mine do the same to his.

Words seem to be swimming in his mouth but they're struggling to slip out.

"What is it?"

He sighs, "I don't want to leave." His eyes shift to the floor. My face must have looked like the sky on New Years Day, "Then don't, we can just sleep. I'd really like it if we could just fall asleep together."

His smile broadens until a chuckle escapes before his lips rest momentarily on my forehead, "I'd love that."

—
I could be bias but I absolutely love them. I think they're the most mature couple I've ever written.

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