All Over Again

| Chapter Nine |

By the time next Monday came around, there was a pep in Ruth's step that she couldn't explain. A giddiness that she couldn't tone down, no matter how hard she tried.

And believe her, she tried.

It only got worse when her gaze zeroed in on the boy with his shoulders hunched over a picnic table, obviously fiddling with his cell phone. A white bud in each ear and the periodic nod of his head gives her an in to go over and say something. With his back turned in her direction, she thought nothing of it when she casually walked over; the giddiness expanding in her chest as she peered curiously over his shoulder. "What are you listening to?"

Ruth found nothing wrong with her simple question at first. A simple response of a band she'd never heard of was all she could expect from her misplaced interest.

She certainly didn't expect Raffo to spin around in his seat, staring at her with wide, alert eyes that startled her. His body flinched away from her looming over him almost instinctually and his chest trembled rapidly. In a matter of two seconds, his face was ashen.

And just as quickly as his body reacted to her, his shoulders relaxed, having registered the girl before him enough to recluse from her. Though relieved, a part of him was more than annoyed at showing such a reaction in front of someone else. He was usually really good at sensing someone's close presence. He always tried his best to prevent situations like those from happening, and for the briefest of moments, when his guard was uncharacteristically down, he freaked out in front of the new girl.

And that made him even angrier. Not with her- but with himself.

"Don't do that," Raffo eventually murmured lowly, his eyes narrowed.

Ruth moved away from him, taken aback by the animosity. Had she scared him that badly? She hadn't meant to. She was just trying to figure out a way to talk to him while he was in his zone; but maybe it was all a bad idea.

Frowning at her own foolishness, she tried her best to recuperate, but came up empty whenever she'd move her mouth and attempt to speak. The previous airiness was now gone, leaving her in a suffocating heap of gum under the bottom of his shoe. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you-"

"You didn't scare me," he quipped, quickly interrupting her. His words were sharp and deep, his jaw clenched tightly.

"But—"

"You. Didn't. Scare. Me," he pushed through his teeth. His cheekbones colored to a dark mahogany and the amber in his eyes blazed. Instinctively, he angled his torso away from Ruth and found something fascinating in the brick building, off to the right behind where she stood.

"Okay," Ruth whispered, her voice small and unsure as she bit her bottom lip. One of her hands cradled the nook of her elbow with a hesitance she wasn't used to.

She hadn't expected him to be so cold towards her, especially after playing a game of basketball together. But sometime after, in the one question she asked him, she messed it all up. She didn't know what the reason behind his reaction was, but she knew there had to be something deeper to Raffo that he didn't show off often or tell people about. He looked too terrified for his reaction to be anything but normal, and while she wanted to ask him about it, she knew it wasn't her place to do so. They didn't know each other well enough for her to ask such bold questions, and she definitely didn't want to pry into his life.

So, instead of doing that, she awkwardly just stood there beside him, not knowing what to do or what to say next. She thought leaving his side would make her flaming cheeks and shifting eyes worse and draw attention to how awful he just made her feel, even if it was her fault she scared him.

Thankfully, though much to Ruth's dismay, Raffo was the first to break the silence.

"I have to go," Raffo huffed, removing himself from the picnic bench.

Slugging his backpack over one shoulder, he hastily removed the earbuds from his ears and wrapped the chord around his cell phone, shoving the bundle into his pocket. He kept his eyes focused on the cement as he made his way around Ruth, eager to get far away from that moment. Ruth didn't even have the chance to say goodbye or apologize again. He was already moving quickly to get away from her.

And then . . . Raffo stopped. He didn't turn back around to face her again, but he didn't need to. Ruth was already staring off after him with her eyes wide open and her ears straining for anything he was going to say to her.

"I was listening to the song Iris," he told her, his voice not as rough as it had been before. There was still some sort of edge to it, but Ruth understood it was towards whatever memory she hadn't met to trudge up and not her specifically. It didn't even matter that Iris was one of her favorite songs, which she felt the odd need to tell him, but didn't. "See you around, Ruth."

Raffo said nothing else and walked away, leaving a million and one questions behind.

*****

The incident at lunch ruffled something unsettling within Ruth.

For the rest of the day, while she sat in boring lectures and pointless labs, her eyes couldn't stray away from the clock long enough to escape her thoughts. With each tick of the big hand, her chest tightened. She always hated the thought of someone being upset with her, and though Raffo hadn't said it specifically, she still felt like it was her fault she interrupted his mood and upset him. It was she who put that limb shaking fear in his eyes just when he let his guard down; it was her who made him flinch away like she had risen a hand to him.

Agitated, Ruth runs her fingers through her curls, the strands easily catching on her knuckles, but she didn't care. She was too busy overthinking and waiting for Jana to text her back and tell her how much of an idiot she was. Leg moving up and down without rest, she pushed out a harsh puff of air from between her lips.

Damn you Jana, she thought to herself bitterly.

Finally, her phone made a buzz.

Trying to inconspicuously look at her phone while her teacher was talking, she swiped a finger over the top of the screen and opened up the text from her cousin.

Jana: Wait. What do you mean you pissed him off??

Ruth bit her lip, her fingers typing fiercely on her touch screen keyboard.

Ruth: I came up behind him while he was listening to music and asked him what song he was listening to. Then he turned around all freaked out, and practically ran off after.

Jana was quick to respond, obviously curious.

Jana: . . . do you have the ugly?

Ruth rolled her eyes.

Ruth: Jana can we not quote SpongeBob right now? I didn't eat a sundae and I don't think I'm an ugly barnacle. Plus, he's not dead.

Jana: HAHAHAHA. Okay back to Raffo. I'm sure he's not mad at you, Ruthie. Maybe it brought up a bad memory for him? You know how some of the kids out here are, especially Raffo with his issues. Some of us come from rougher places. Ain't in California anymore, love.

Ruth wanted to reply that California wasn't what it was cracked up to be either, with poverty in San Francisco and Skid Row, or their own racism, but she refrained from doing so. She knew what Jana meant, and in most ways, she was right. Everything out there was different from what Ruth had known her whole life and she couldn't pretend like there wasn't a difference between the two states.

Ruth: That's true. Okay, I'll leave it alone. I just hate upsetting people.

Jana: 1st off woman, you can't control what someone else feels. 2nd, let Raffo sulk it off. He'll be good as new the text time you see him cuz you did nothing wrong. He's always been more on the broody side.

Ruth: Thanks J

Jana: Always Ruthie! (:

Rana turned off her phone and drew her attention back to her teacher for the rest of class, momentarily dispelling anymore worrying thoughts about Raffo.

Well, just for the rest of that one class, at least.

*****