Ch 33: Unfathomable

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RYAN'S POV

"Can you even imagine the amount of pain I've felt in the last three months? It was excruciating to see you ignore me all this while...as if we never even happened. You didn't even want to be friends with me, Ryan. I'm not forgiving you, not this time. I'm sick of letting go of literally everything"

"I promise to never let you down again. That was a mistake. It won't happen again"

"No you have to let me speak, Ry"

"Off course"

"You remember how we used to sit by the lake? I used to go there too, alone...always missing you, yearning to know what you're doing and where you are. Well I think I'm still missing you, I guess that I have...I have never really had you" she says, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"You've always had me, baby"

"No Ry. You see this. Us right here. It literally took a life or death situation to bring you to me. If that's what we are, I don't think it's what you call love. You're everywhere, except right here, and it hurts"

"I missed you too, 'brina. I missed your voice, I missed the way you looked at me, I missed the way your face lit up everytime you saw an ice-cream, I missed your smile. I missed how you made me feel. I missed it all, baby and I don't think I can go through something like that ever again"

"All this while... I've yearned to see you. I've missed you deeply, unfathomably, senselessly amd terribly and I can't ever explain that feeling no matter what words I try to put it into. It was so hard not talking to you, Ry. The time when I felt your absence the most was at night, when there's complete silence and that reminds me that I'm not sleeping next to you. There were times when I hated you so much, Ryan. So damn much. But I made myself believe that you'd come back to me. No matter what. But my faith in you started fading...there I was wondering what I did wrong and there you were...long gone and moved on. And all those things made me hate you, Ry. So I hate you!...and I-I love you" she says.

"C'mere babe" I say as I pull her in for a hug.

"Do you have it in yourself to forgive me, 'brina? Cuz that's all I need"

"I don't want to forgive you but I love you and I miss you too much to be mad anymore"

"Does that mean you forgive me?"

"Yes baby I forgive you unless-"

"Unless what?"

"Unless you got here without ice-cream" she says, giggling.

"You Smarty pants! I have em, babe"

"Sweetheart, are you alright?" Her mother asks as she walks right in

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"Sweetheart, are you alright?" Her mother asks as she walks right in.

"Yes I'm fine, mum. It's just a little hit to the head"

"Uh no It wasn't a little hit. Ma'am, she had hit her pretty little head really hard. Even though she's totally fine, the doctor says she needs to be kept in the hospital for another day"

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