Love.
As 'beautiful' as love can be it hurts and bleeds. If you're unlucky you may even love the very person you know you can't have.
The best friend,
The distant boyfriend,
The sisters friend,
The brothers friend,
The ex best friend,
Love isn't alw...
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Staring at my phone I glance up at the time.
12:26am Saturday.
Fucking hell.
Rolling over to my side I squeeze my eyes tight. I'm not doing this again, this is the third night and it only leaves me feeling gross and confused. Grabbing my other pillow in frustration I cover my face with it. Taking a breath of self depreciation, I lift it off my face before extending my arm out to my phone. Clicking onto the first social media app that I see I tap in Brylan's name before pausing. Allowing what I want to do with these photos to sink in, I chuck my phone across the bed. Fuck that. Just try to sleep Damon.
Nope, not working either. 'Think of something else.'
What are things that don't turn me on? Basketball, trees, exams, kids. Kids? I've really resorted to thinking of kids to get rid of erections? This has to be a completely different level of low.
Exhaling I get up off the bed and walk to the light switch. Turning it on I rub my eyes before slowly exiting the room. I don't want to bother anyone since I'm sure that I'm the only one awake. No one in my household is usually awake at this hour. It's just me. The moment the clock strikes ten pm, everyone is usually out cold so it's so easy to sneak out because I all have to do is be back by morning. It's what I had planned to do tonight since Jacob was hosting a party or something. I didn't end up going if course.
I was just worried that photos would circulate or be posted and I'd do something stupid whilst I was drunk. It wouldn't be the first time nor would it bother me since it's not like I'm doing anything bad enough to be worried over. I've just been thinking about what Brylan said. I could only picture how angry she was when she told me I was no different to what they say and god did that hurt because she's right. I wore that fact with pride because why should I care? But the way she said it felt like a bullet to the chest.
Walking down the stairs I enter the kitchen. I don't feel like turning the light on so I don't, instead I open the fridge and use that as a light. Taking out my water bottle I click it open before chugging half of it down. Frowning when I bring it away from my lips, that didn't even help. If anything I feel worse about myself.
There has to be something seriously wrong with me. Woman have never been in my radar. Granted I wouldn't call myself the most sexually innocent but I don't pin for romance. I don't have time for it and I don't say that with an heavy heart. Relationships truly aren't something I care for so I don't think about girls like this. I don't think about specific girls like this unless it's for pleasure so I don't fucking know why she's stuck in my head.
This stupid thing started a week ago and I quite literally can't be around her without getting excited which leads me to getting hard. I use to ignore her since if I didn't see her I was good but now if I even think of her my dick goes fucking crazy.
