Tara Ahuja's Golden Rules

6: Friends or Something

My father put the glow-in-the-dark stars on the roof of my bedroom after I pleaded with him for hours to do so. He considered stickers to be a cheap desecration of the pure property he considered his home.

The stars meant everything to me, though. I wasn't allowed to be out of the house after a certain time, so frankly, unless my family had some late night plans, (which they almost never did), I wouldn't see the stars.

Even though I had a window, the stars just weren't the same from there. One of my previous golden rules was: Be home by the time promised, or be prepared to have an absurd punishment promised.

As I got older I modified that rule to: Be home earlier than expected, (preferably before sunset) and reap the rewards.

The stars in my room made me feel like maybe I wasn't so far from normal. They filled my lungs with cold, crisp, forest air. They were entirely necessary.

It was nine thirty at night, and the lights in my room were off. I always slept in a large t-shirt and small shorts hidden by the shirt. I wasn't sure if Varun was still home, but if I had to take a guess, he probably was. As you know, he slept over all of the time, and played video games with my brother till the early hours of the day.

I felt myself longing for some water, so I composed myself and headed for the kitchen. I grabbed a glass and began filling it up, when I felt a presence watching me.

I looked up, and met Varun's tall frame, slouched over on our kitchen island's chair. I jolted up quickly, feeling my heart jump.

"Oh god, you scared me!" I exclaimed.

Varun put his hands up slightly, "Sorry," he replied. He kept his head low.

We were having so many more interactions this past week. "Did you need something?" I asked.

He was staring at the cupcakes longingly ever since they were made, so I'm sure that's why he was here.

His face stayed hidden, dropping low. He didn't reply to what I just said. He was behaving oddly. "Varun?" I called again.

He slowly brought his head up, and revealed his busted lip with dried up blood.

My eyes widened immediately, "Varun!" I exclaimed, rushing over towards him.

His soft eyes met my worried ones, as I gently placed my hands on his face, observing his injury.

"Who did this?" I asked, my voice full of fury.

He swallowed, and stayed quiet for a second.

No, it couldn't have been. He wouldn't.

My eyebrows raised in shock, "No, no, no, he couldn't have. Did he do this?" I asked.

I felt like I was about to throw up. Varun didn't move or blink or confirm or deny anything.

"Varun," I asked, again, "Did Ajit do this to you?"

He silently resigned and dropped his head slightly. I knew what that meant. No way did that fucker actually hit one of the most pure people. And, no way did Varun take it.

How could he do something like that? He was psychotic! How could he hit anybody? Especially Varun!

"I'm going to fucking kill him," I spat, not caring about anything at the moment. I shifted my body.

Varun held my arms tightly, "No, wait," he said.

I whipped around to face him again. What could he possibly say to defend Ajit right now? If he knew what was best for him, he'd drop him. No matter how much hurt that would cause me, I'd support him.

"Why would he do this?" my voice croaked. I was trying not to let the lump in my throat make me cry.

Varun shook his head, "It doesn't matter," he said.

I furrowed my eyebrows. Of course, it fucking mattered. Why didn't he want to tell me why? Why was he still protecting him?

I looked over at the keys stacked on our kitchen's wall. Ajit's car was gone.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"Pizza." Varun simply replied.

Pizza? Who brutally beats up their best friend and then gets pizza? Boys were fucking weird.

I stared at Varun intensely. "I am not leaving until you tell me why this happened."

"It's your house," Varun muttered.

I raised my eyebrows, "Don't get smart with me, or I will beat the living crap out of my brother, whether you like it or not."

Varun raised in arms as if he were surrendering. "He told me he didn't like that we were joking around, like we were friends or something," he explained.

My heart sunk. So, it was because of me.

I blinked quickly, my eyes fixing on his wound, and my shoulders dropping.

"But it doesn't mean anything Tara," Varun quickly said, "He gets in these moods sometimes."

It was all going through one ear and coming out of the other. Ajit beat up Varun because of me.

"God—see, this is why I didn't want to tell you. You'd blame yourself, and then we'd stop— we'd stop," he stammered.

I didn't let him finish, "Maybe we do need to stop," I said.

A look of confusion washed over his face, "What do you mean? Stop what?" he asked.

"This," I said, as I sighed, "Whatever it is, whatever it was becoming, before one of us gets hurt."

Varun's eyes dropped, "One of us already has," he whispered.

I nodded, "Exactly," I said, "And, I can't let it happen any further."

"Tara, that's not what I meant," he said.

"We've lived our whole lives not talking, there'll be no change," I said, coldly.

I wasn't exactly sure what I was saying anymore; words were just spewing out of my mouth.

Varun stood up, his eyes darkened and his soul appearing non-existent. It was as if he knew that nothing he could say could snap me out of my decision.

"Good talk," he said, through gritted teeth, as he brushed past me.

And that was that. He made his way up to Ajit's room, and I made my way up to mine. And, whatever this little thing Varun and I were beginning to have was over before it even began. The way it always should've been.