WANTED

Chapter 26

   Nickolas placed a kiss on Elizabeths hair. "So," he drug out.
Elizabeth sat up to face him, he wants something. I suppose hes been nice long enough, its bound to happen eventually. She thought.
"How do you feel about the cabin?"
What? Would I ratther sleep outside? Is he going to send me away? "W-what do you mean?"
"I told you you could do what you wanted. 'Paint the house pink',"he reminded her. "Ive got some work to do to get ready for winter, so if you have a plan in mind, I can get the supplies when we go to town to get your dresses." He was changing the subject. Because he knows its painfull, or because he doesnt want to hear? No, hes kind, she thought. Part of her was still waiting for his mask to drop, but something told her Nick was a good man.
"I-its your house Nickolas."
"It is our house, Elizabeth." He sat sideways on the couch to look at her. "Surely you had hopes for your new home, flower beds out front, a porch all the way around? Tell me what you want." His tone was teasing.
"The house is f-fine the way i-it is."
"Its a bachelor pad." he chucked. "My focus was on building the ranch, I didn't decorate a thing. Aunt Ida brought the spare blankets, put a curtain up in the bedroom, she made me buy this couch, said a home needed more than one comfortable chair. Don't you want, what do you call it? A womans touch."
"Nick, c-compaired t-to w-where I grew u-up this is," she wasn't sure what to say.
"I s-slept on a m-mat on a dirt floor, I c-cooked in a hearth, there w-was no w-washroom, or extra dishes or comfy chairs or fancy soap! There wasn't any kind of soap! Just rats and bugs and mold and holes in the roof!" Oh God.
"Did, did you just yell at me?" He had a strange sort of smile.
"I-im sorry. I-i didn't"
"Elizabeth," he cut her off. "Im not mad. But you are. Thats good." He smiled and she was sure he'd lost his mind. "You're angry about all the things you didn't have, so let it out. Yell at me. I'm a big guy I can take it." He was right, she was angry. All her life she'd been afraid, being with Nickolas showed her that not everyone was cruel, at least this one singular man was good. And not everyone lived in filth, maybe Pa didn't have the money, or maybe he didn't care, it didn't really matter. Nickolas made her feel other things. She was still afraid, but there was more now. She was curious about him, attracted to him, and she was angry.
"I-i dont know how to do this."
"Do what, love?" he pulled her into his arms.
"To feel, things." Well that was awkward.
"Feelings just happen, it's our actions we have to control. So, if you need to scream, you can scream at me. If you want to do something more productive I can help you."
"What do you mean, productive?"
"Grown up Elizabeth has a home, she has financial stubility, she has me." He reached out and placed his hand over her heart, "Somewhere in here is a little girl who never got to be a kid, she never had anyone to look out for her, to love her. I told you to love yourself, allow yourself to heal. Why don't you start by giving Grown up Elizabeth everything that lettle girl never had?"
"How?" she choked, trying not to cry again.
"It's not exactly simple. The basics are covered, a house in good condition, plenty of food, everything you need for personal hygene. Now, make this house a home. Pick out curtains and paint, choose a quilt for the bedroom, buy fancy china. Make it your own. Talk to me, tell me what you want. If it is within my power, I'll get it done. If you like to read I'll build a bookshelf and you can fill it with all your favorites. You want a pet, the only rule is no animals in the bed."
   She couldn't help a giggle. "I like goats." 
Nickolas stared, his blue eyes shimmering in the firelight.
"D-do you not like goats?" she nearly burst trying not to laugh.
"Thats the first time I've heard you laugh. If having a smelly horned demon around makes you happy, then I love the nasty things." It was her turn to stare in bewilderment. " You'll have to wait for the spring auction. But that is something for my supply list, I need to build a goat pin."
"W-wait, I-i can have a goat?"
Nicolas sighed. "Thats the first time you've answered me when I asked you what you want. We're absolutly getting a goat."