Fine Apple | ✓

d e c k

❝I could never stay long enough on the shore; the tang of the untainted, fresh, and free sea air was like a cool, quieting thought.❞ —Helen Keller

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"Hello, this is the dreamy seller of Fine Apples."

"Tinkerbell, I need help."

"THE BEACONS ARE LIT! ARIA CALLS FOR AID!"

"THAT'S SUCH A GOOD BOOK!"

"YEeeeahhh... I mean, I never actually READ the book, but the movies were lit."

"..."

"What?"

"You're always supposed to read the books first, you hypocrite."

"Huh? Well, the Seller of Fine Apples feels no obligation to adhere to your cruel laws of conduct. Hashtag not-my-facilitator."

"Have you actually read any books at all?"

"Harry Potter is the only book I've finished."

"Wow, I'm impressed actually. That's more than I expected from you--seven books and all."

"There are seven books?"

"Oh my gosh. Do you live under a rock?"

"Under a boardwalk, actually."

"But you seriously can't tell me you've only read the first Harry Potter book!"

"I didn't. I read the first two Harry Potter books."

"So you just... never finished the series."

"Nope."

"Spoiler alert. Dumbledore dies."

"I knew that."

"Dude... compared to the entire series, so LITTLE happens in the first two books! Does anyone actually even die? I can't remember."

"Quirrell."

"Who is that again?"

"The professor guy--you know, with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in the back of his head?"

"Oh, you mean, with YOU in the back of his head?"

"Aria, I'm offended that you would compare me to Voldemort--a hideous, noseless, bald villain who kind of killed Harry's parents."

"Hmm well, sorry. Tom Riddle was pretty hot though."

"Poor excuse."

"You know, if you would just tell me what your actual name is, I wouldn't compare you to Voldemort!"

"But I like it when you call me Tinkerbell..."

"Does being compared to a tiny, uptight blonde fairy in a rather revealing green dress appeal to you?"

"Well, when you put it that way..."

"I tell it like it is, Tink."

"I dunno. I like it."

"I could still call you Tinkerbell if it really means that much to you... I just want to know what your actual name is."

"But I kinda like holding you in suspense."

"Why are you so obnoxious?"

"... whooooops, gotta go, Aria--sorry."

"BUT I NEED HELP--"

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thanks for #26 in short story!!

tina