'In the old days at home the Neverland had always begun to look a little dark and threatening by bedtime. Then unexplored patches arose in it and spread, black shadows moved about in them, the roar of the beasts of prey was quite different now, and...
i see now how it must have been difficult for you with a baby born in a blue moon, screaming at the injustice of it. (you couldn't have known, no, you couldn't have) but your baby was(is) blue as can be.
she cannot undo that no fingers held her in those first waking hours, she cannot unmake her glass case and those needles (which were her first touches) yes, they still sparkle at night.
(i say, my brain was blotted out from the beginning.) i wake with my mouth parting like it was for that first dying breath -- and the dust was settling to dream on my cells again (and they all turned blue --)
i think of how you once said that you would put me in a bell jar where i might be safe to behold at last, and i think how i was not ready, i was not ready to leave you.
i was not ready, i was not ready to leave those milky confines of my neonatal dreams, i wasn't ready to be uncovered, to find i had to do it on my own --
to lose my baby teeth and untie my neverland wings, the first time that there's no goodnight kiss (i wanted to break my wrists, thinking of that)
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