HIS BEAUTIFUL SECRET (completed)

CHAPTER 10 - THE DARK DAYS

Morning peered into my window, far too bright for my liking. I squinted my eyes, trying to block it out. Dragging myself out of bed I checked my phone and noticed the time, 8:30 am. School had already begun, so I decided I better get my butt in gear.

Peaking out of my door, I heard dead silence in the house. I walked to my dad's room, and he was not there. The thought occurred to me he might not have even come home.

When I walked into the kitchen, I noticed the still-warm cup of coffee on the table. That was proof positive that he had been there, putting my mind to rest.

Walking through the house it felt different, deserted somehow. I wondered if dad would leave too? If he left, I didn't know what I would do or how I would take care of myself. Even if I got into Georgia Southern, I wouldn't be able to leave right away. The thought of being homeless wasn't exactly appealing.

I remembered how he looked so sad when he told me, so distant. She made our lives hell, but she was still his wife, my mother. I always knew that she wasn't like other mothers. When I was a little girl and would fall there was never any nurturing or anyone to kiss my boo-boo away. She would tell me to suck it up and leave it to me to sort out for myself. Well, that's one lesson she taught me, that I could only rely on myself.

I never could understand how dad would sit, hour after hour, day after day, taking the screaming. He never reacted, never stuck up for himself or me. Would things be different if he had?

I don't know why I was sad. She was a monster, and yet somehow I felt like someone had ripped a hole in my heart. How do you console yourself when your own mother doesn't want you? How screwed up do you have to be for your mother to abandon you? Those thoughts assaulted my mind until I thought I would go insane. Finally, I went back to bed and put the covers over my head, my safe place.

The next day, the alarm buzzed, and it jarred me awake, I considered getting up and pulling myself together. After a few minutes of debate, I decided that I was too tired. Rolling back over, I dozed off. Somewhere around lunchtime, I heard my phone buzzing over and over.

"Sky, where are you? I haven't heard from you in two days now," Jake's texts sounded frantic. He brought me so much comfort when the news first came, but I never could bring myself to tell him what was going on. I let him hold me, thinking he could take the pain away.

"I am fine Jake, I'll catch up with you later, I am sleeping. "

"Are you sick?" he continued to push.

"Yeah" I shot back, I was sick, sort of, at least my mind and my heart felt like they were. I didn't intend to push him away. I wasn't ready to face anyone or anything. I silenced my phone and went back to sleep.

Another day dawned and my alarm buzzed, it was Saturday. At least I did not have to worry about school. Dad had been leaving before I got up and staying out late at night. I knew he was likely gone for the day.

I investigated, and as I suspected, he wasn't there. Walking by the mirror in his room, I saw my reflection. I looked like a zombie. I was wearing only a long t-shirt and panties with bare legs. My hair was hanging loosely out of a ponytail I had in for days.

There were dark circles under my eyes, bags also hung under them making me look much older than I was. My skin looked hollow, the result of barely eating or drinking for days. I stared for a long time and wondered who the person was staring back at me.

Most kids have so much pride when someone says, "Oh, you're so and so's kid," but what did I have that identified me? I had a mother that ghosted us and a father that was barely even present.

The reflection staring back at me was so unfamiliar that it scared me a little. I was on my way to my room when I heard a knock at the door. Paying no matter to my current appearance, I opened the door and found Jake on the other side of it. He glanced at me and then stared me up and down, not believing what he was seeing.