Golden Arrow Reviews

Review #24: Trainess

Reviewer: _RoseThorn_

Story: “trainees. na jaemin” by softkyuu
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✿ Cover ✿

Once again, I like that the aesthetic of your cover matches the others. However, I’m curious as to why you chose cars as the main focus for the graphic because the story doesn’t really relate to cars overall. The font size of the title is again, a bit too small. If you don’t want to change your entire cover, you could simply increase the size of the font so it’s more visible and it would be fine.

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✿ Summary ✿

Although it’s short, this summary gives the reader a slightly better idea of what to expect from the story. At first glance, I can guess that it will be something about a romance stemming from two characters trying to audition together. You didn’t need many words to convey this idea, so I can appreciate that. I did notice a couple grammatical errors in the summary, so you should probably look into fixing that because most readers wouldn’t want to read a story if they believe it will have grammatical issues throughout. I’m not necessarily the biggest fan of summaries without much description, but I’m assuming you chose to do this because the summaries of your other books are similar and it makes them all more connected to one another.

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✿ Grammar, Spelling and Vocabulary ✿

The vocabulary isn't very dynamic and I find that you usually use common and simple words. You definitely don't need tons of over-the-top words, but putting a few in place of some bland words would go a long way in improving the story. There are no spelling mistakes, although the grammar can be a little off in certain areas. I noticed that you went for a format that is mainly used for poetry, which is pretty interesting. I'd suggest making some revisions to your grammar and adding in some more exciting words wherever you can.

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✿ Characters ✿

Kim Haeun is clearly heartbroken throughout the story and I can tell she feels let down and alone due to the way she reminisces on everything that happened with Na Jaemin. Jaemin seems to forget about her and unintentionally hurts her as the story moves on, but Haeun tries her best not to let it show. Despite her sadness, I can admire her ability to push it aside and still remain positive and encouraging about Jaemin’s accomplishments.

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✿ Plot ✿

First thing’s first, I can tell you love your tragic endings. I like that you don't end the story with Jaemin and Haeun’s relationship working out perfectly because in real life, relationships don't always succeed. You avoided the major Fanfiction cliche of ”happily ever after” endings and it allows your story to feel more realistic. Overall, the plot was pretty simple but well-executed. The way the story was written to seem as if Haeun was addressing Jaemin and saying how she felt, even if he would never hear it was intriguing. It allows readers to connect with the main character and feel sympathy for her. Apart from that, I enjoyed the gloomy tone of the story. The conflict in which someone forgets about somebody else and makes them feel hurt and betrayed without realizing it is something that is relatable to a lot of readers and I liked the use of the idea.

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