Review#26: CONQUEST

38 5 8
                                    

Reviewer: _RoseThorn_

Story: “CONQUEST” by Nlght_lock
________________________________________________
✿ Cover ✿

Overall, the cover of this book connects well with the story. The graphic looks put together and it is fairly straightforward. A little detail I noticed was how the “Q” in “Conquest” lined up perfectly with the hilt of the sword. Although it’s pretty simple, this touch does a lot in terms of making the cover more eye-catching and uniform.
______________________________________________
✿ Summary ✿

From reading the summary alone, I can assume that this story will be about an arduous journey that the main character, Frid, goes on (hence the book’s title, “Conquest”). However, I noticed that some of the grammar and sentence structure was a little off in this description. I’d recommend making a few edits so that it makes more sense because you don't want readers to choose not to give your book a chance because of this. Perhaps reading the summary aloud to see if it sounds right would be helpful.
________________________________________________
✿ Grammar, Spelling and Vocabulary ✿

For the most part, there are little spelling and grammatical errors. There are, however, a couple instances where commas are misplaced and there are also some technical errors, but they aren’t an issue major enough to distract readers from the story. I’m sure a lot of those errors were accidental and could be fixed with a little revision. Apart from this, I believe that past-tense would have been a better option for this story. Since it is narrated in third-person, I found that present-tense made parts of it sound a little strange at times.   Based on the type of book this is, past-tense would definitely improve it, as it sounds more refined and allows it to flow a lot more smoothly.
________________________________________________
✿ Characters ✿

Hellgor was quite an entertaining character. His name would lead readers to believe that he is intimidating, but he most definitely isn’t. He has a silly personality which contrasts well with Frid. Frid appears to be rational and that can be seen in the way he keeps Hellgor in line. The friendship between these two characters was quite interesting and it’s pretty clear that Frid is the “mom” friend. I also enjoyed the conversations they had because they revealed a lot about each character’s personality. As soon as Grawler was introduced, I could tell that he would be strict and rude. Based on his name alone, it seemed as if he would be the type of person who wouldn’t bother to spare anyone’s feelings. Apart from these three, the other characters also had intriguing personalities and you did a great job portraying each one.
________________________________________________
✿ Plot ✿

From what I read, this plot is quite unique. The way you explain the surroundings as the characters travel is really fascinating. I appreciated how you filled in the time it took Frid and Hellgor to travel with conversations so that it wouldn’t be boring and uneventful because of course, no one wants to read about characters walking. Adding in creatures such as Sharp Beaks, Night Flowers, and Rabbitbashers was an interesting touch. The way they were described really sold the overall fantasy theme of the story. Added to this, I liked the creativity behind those ideas. It’s pretty obvious that you put thought and effort into creating the world that this story takes place in and it paid off.
________________________________________________

Golden Arrow ReviewsWhere stories live. Discover now