Loaded Guns and Broken Fences [On Hold]

Chapter 39

Dinner at the McGrath household was hectic--that wasn't anything new, but this evening it was for different reasons. Celly had been drawn away to tend to her son, leaving Betty and the girls to handle everything. It had all gotten done, but there had been no shortage of shouting, disagreements, and chaos in the process of doing so. It was crowded, and as such, Fin's boys had seen fit to just take their plates back to the barn where they had been sleeping.

Bran, Allen, and Tom didn't stay much longer, which left the women and youngest McGraths with Fin. After eating, he excused himself to the porch while the girls cleaned up and got the kids ready for bed.

Fin puffed on his pipe as he considered what would come next for them--how much more the family could take. He stayed there well past nightfall, smoking and thinking. After an hour or two, he noticed the lights dim inside as everyone got into bed. When he figured the women and children were settled, he went inside to get the trundle bed ready and turn in as well.

Just as he was throwing a blanket down on the wiry cot, he heard the stairs creak and spotted Celly.

"You and the Doc have done all ya can for yer boy," he said. "Should get some rest."

"I can't," Celly replied, wrapping her robe around herself. "I tried. I just... keep turning over, expectin' to see him lying there, you know? And then he's not, and well... It's like I go through losing him all over again." Her eyes were glassy, but she seemed too tired to cry any more than she already had. "I was gonna offer you take the bed. I can sleep down here."

"I prefer to stay by the door in case—well, just in case," Fin replied.

Celly nodded some and looked around, unsure of what to do with herself now that her request had been refused.

Just as she was turning to go back upstairs, Fin straightened and grabbed a chair. "Here," he offered, sliding the chair towards her before he sat down on the cot.

Celly looked grateful for having an alternative to worrying about her son or mourning her husband. "You don't have to pretend like I don't know what you and your family does," Celly finally said to break the silence that had fallen between them.

Fin just glanced at her for a moment before he leaned back and placed his hat over his face. "Oh? What exactly is that?" he asked in a quiet, even tone.

"Yer outlaws."

"Joe tell ya that? I wonder what else did he tell ya?"

"Enough."

"You're smart as a whip, Cel. Joe was a lucky man."

"Don't," Celly warned.

Fin sat up. "What you got against me talkin' about Joe? He was my older brother as much as you don't wanna admit it. I've lost him, same as you."

"No, Fin. It's different. You couldn't possibly imagine what it's like to lose a--"

"I lost my wife." There was once again silence between them. He could tell that he'd caught Celly off guard with that sudden confession.

"Well, I'm...I'm real sorry," Celly said, swallowing her pride a little.

"Nothin' to be sorry for." Fin waved a hand dismissively. "Yer right. I'm not the best of people, Cel, but I ain't heartless neither. I ain't no farmer. I put those ideas out of my head a long time ago." As he spoke he turned his hat thoughtfully in his hands. "All I know are how bad and unfair the world can be... and how to be meaner."

"I don't want you going after those Shields," Celly said as if she was talking to one of the boys.

"Now, Cel, I just called you smart a second ago. Don't go makin' me a liar."