The Serum

T H I R T Y - O N E.

I'm torn between running away and running inside. My house, my rickety old house, is still here. The limo is long gone, not caring whether it's passenger is actually alright. I set my bags down on the porch with a plunk. 

Come on, Lizzy, you can walk inside your own house.

But it's not the house. It's who's in the house. 

The flight here had been so incredibly grueling that I wanted to collapse on the sidewalk as soon as I set a foot down. I couldn't sleep a minute with the engines roaring in my ears. 

I raise my fist to knock when the door squeals open, revealing my mother. Seeing me, her eyes widen and she drops the watering can she had been holding. The water seeps onto our wood but Mom doesn't seem to notice it exists. It's midday, the time she usually waters her flowers. 

"Lizzy?" She cups my face, squinting so hard it's as if she can't see me. "It's really you?"

"It's me, Mom. I'm here." I choke on the last words and with a cry, she folds me into her familiar embrace. It's a smell I've grown up with; lavender and soil and lemony cleaner. I cry with relief; familiar is the only thing I need now. Surprisingly, Ardmore and Officer Fatso are the things I need right now. 

"Oh, baby girl, I thought you had died when they sent you out into the Wilds." Mom's crying now, tears falling in rivulets down her cheeks. 

"I thought I was going to. But somehow, we made it out." 

We breathe tomorrow, until I speak up.

"I'm sorry I left like that. Truly. I mean it." 

She pulls back. "I know you do, sweetheart. But it's mostly my fault. Ever since your father died, I haven't been myself. I haven't been the mother you need. I'm sorry."

"I get it, Mom, I do." 

"Lizzy, you listen to me," Mom bends over, looking me firmly in the eye. "You are my daughter, and absolutely nothing can change that. You could never be a disappointment in my eyes; everything about you, from your face to your words to your eyes is all your father. How could you be a disappointment when I so much of him in you?"

I can't stop the tears as I fling my arms around her. Emotions tie a twisted knot in me but I'm too happy to care. 

I'm home.