That Little Space Between Never And Ever [completed]

♡ Part 6 ♡

Before you will start reading; This part maybe can be seen as fiercely, mostly the end. I worked hard on it and hopefully you will like it. ! Remember, what happens in the end is never the solution ! Lots of love and all the best for you all xx

I was sitting on a rock for about 30 minutes now. My hand hurt and was red from the blow I had given Isabelle, but I didn't feel the pain. The pain in my heart was much worse. I could no longer think clearly and my eyes were filled with tears non-stop. After a few tries to call Lando, I gave up. I got his voicemail all the time. I told myself he turned off his phone because it hurt too much to think he could have blocked my number. If I went back to the camping field now, I would probably kill Isabelle, so I stayed in the woods. It was getting colder and colder and I decided to go for a walk. It didn't help, it was still cold, my heart was still broken and this was when I realized how important Lando had become to me. The pain in my heart was terrible, but I was more miserable for Lando than for myself. I was used to the pain, but it didn't deserve it at all. He was hurt and broken, he thinks I used him, that I only spent time with him because of his job, that I told everyone about our meeting, that he means nothing to me... None of that was true. I didn't use him, I spent time with him because it felt good to be around him, I didn't tell anyone about it, Isabelle just followed me. What I wanted most at the moment was to spend time with Lando. I wanted to talk to him to let him know it was all a misunderstanding. It felt so bad not being able to do anything and knowing that Lando was feeling bad. I wanted to make him feel better, have a good conversation and laugh with him, but that was impossible. It was because of me that he felt bad, frankly because of Isabelle, but Lando thinks I'm the bitch in this story. To be honest, it kind of hurt to know he feels that way about me, but then again. As he said, this has happened to him before so it's not strange to think like this and we only knew each other for two days. He already knew a lot about me. Well a lot... He knew my father's story, one of the most important things, but he doesn't know everything. Nobody knows everything. I want to spend time with him so bad, he needs to know I'm not that bad. I want to put my arms around him and hug him tight, I probably wouldn't let go of him. That we had just met I didn't care at this point, I had to see him, talk to him, explain everything and of course hug him. Then I realized something that gave me some hope again. Lando had given me Zak Brown's number. For when you ever need it, he said. I quickly grabbed my phone and searched for the number. My heart started to beat faster when I pressed the green button and held my phone to my ear. When I heard his quintessentially American accent, I felt a little better and had a little more hope that things could get better. ''With Zak Brown, CEO of McLaren. What can I do for you?''

While I waited, I looked at the hotel in amazement. It was so luxurious and beautiful. There were big stairs in the center of the room, like you see in American movies. Of course there were also lifts and there were some large plants in the corners. The beige color was quite nice and in combination with the decor and a bit of marble it looked very expensive. I heard someone enter the room and looked up. A man came up to me and he shook my hand. "I'm Zak Brown." He said. "Olivia Miller, thank you very much for coming by." I smiled at him gratefully. If there was any other situation and if I wasn't feeling so bad, no doubt I would have really enjoyed this moment. "Let's go to my room and we can talk about what you wanted to talk to me about. Do you want to take the lift or the stairs?'' I stood up. "The stairs are fine." He gave a short nod and we started walking in silence. "This way." He said when we got upstairs and went into a hallway. We arrived at a door with a name tag on it. Zak opened the door and let me in first. The room was huge and you had a great view of the forest and part of the track. My heart skipped a beat when I saw that you could see 'the gate' from this window. He must have noticed something was wrong because he was walking over to me. "Is everything alright?" He asked and I nodded slowly, fighting my tears. "Take a seat, I'll get you a glass of water." I sat in one of the big chairs, with my back to the window. "Okay, tell me everything." Zak said after he had put the water on the table for me and sat himself on the sofa. He looked at me as if he really wanted to help me. I took a deep breath and started talking. My voice was shaking a little bit, but I got myself under control fairly quickly. ''Last Friday evening I met Lando Norris outside. We talked a bit and he wanted to take me back to the campground. I didn't want to go back, my uhmm... My mental health is really bad and I needed some time to myself. I wanted to go for a walk in the forest and Lando came with me. We talked and then he took me to the track. We entered the site through the gate that you can see through the window there. That's why I just stared out the window." Zak interrupted me when I told him about the gate. "I saw the gate being used at a time when everyone is normally gone and back to the hotel. I talked about it with Lando and he explained that he had been there with you. He never tells me things like that, and more importantly, I haven't seen him this happy in a long time. He was happier than ever and when he did the third free practice, it looked like he was flying. He never likes a girl in a few hours, but it really seems like you're important to him.'' A tear rolled down my cheek and my heart has never felt more broken. I couldn't imagine how Lando must feel now. Apparently I had become important to him by now and he thinks that I let him down. ''And it looks like he's important to you too. But I don't think you came to talk about the cuteness between the two of you. Tell me, what happened?" I felt him looking at me, but I had been staring at my feet the whole time. To be honest I didn't want to talk about this part of the story, it hurt too much, but I came here to talk to Zak. So I shouldn't be doing pussy now. I looked up and looked into his eyes. "We met at the gate today at 9pm. I am here with my brother and we met two people we became friends with. One of them knew I had met someone, but I have no one told about Lando and me. It was really a secret. I found out that Isabelle, we had met her and her brother here, had followed me when I got to the gate. She pretended to Lando that I had told everything and as if I wanted her to come with me. That's not true, but now he thinks I abused him and that he means nothing to me. I tried calling him several times but got his voicemail. I don't know what to do, He seems so broken and honestly I am too. He doesn't deserve this..." I stopped talking as tears began to flow down my cheeks.

Zak decided to give me a hotel room for tonight. It was already eleven in the evening and he knew it would not go well if I went back to the camping field now. I was completely exhausted, very tired and feeling down like never before. We talked for a long time about what happened and he trusted me that I hadn't cheated on Lando. Even Zak got his voicemail when he tried to call him and it only made me feel worse. "Thank you very much for the good conversation." I said to Zak when I got up to go to my room tonight. "It was nice that you wanted to help me and that you had time for me.''

I stared at myself in the mirror of the beautiful bathroom. I tried to look at myself as if I were someone else. My blue eyes were filled with pain and fear, tears and worry too. Blonde, wavy hair fell over my shoulders to almost my breasts. Round, rose gold glasses... I couldn't see myself as anyone else. Maybe I'm looking good, but I have never seen that. I can only see that pain that I always hide inside. I slowly looked at my hand and what I was holding in it. I rolled up the sleeve of my sweater and saw the two bright red stripes on my arm. I brought the object in my hand to my arm. A third scarlet line appeared next to the other two. Then a fourth and fifth. I kept going until my arm hurt more than my heart and then slowly put the knife aside. The pain was beyond description and I had not yet noticed how badly I had damaged myself. Blood ran down my arm and dripped onto the bathroom floor. Everything was dominated by the overwhelming pain. It felt like my arm was on fire and the wounds kept bleeding. I started to panic and had no idea what to do. I quickly grabbed a towel from the heater and pressed it to my bleeding arm. The white towel turned red in seconds, then I threw it off. I started to feel lightheaded and quickly grabbed the sink. I turned on the tap and let the cold water run over my wrists to calm down. At that point everything became too much, my legs started to shake very much and my whole body ached and felt weak. My eyes rolled away and I fell to the hard, cold bathroom floor. I heard myself hit hard and a shot of pain shot through my arm. Someone pounded on the door and he shouted my name. I was sure that I knew the person, but I couldn't figure out who it was. Footsteps got closer and closer. The noise hurt my head. I just wanted to go to sleep, forget everything for a while and feel no more pain... Slowly I felt myself sinking, I curled up and just wanted to lie here. The last thing I got was someone who turned me around so that I lay on my back. His breath caught and he took my arm. I was lifted and a moment later I was lying in the nice warm and soft pillows on the box spring.