That Little Space Between Never And Ever [completed]

♡ Part 9 ♡

~• Lando Norris •~

"I believe what Carlos told me, I believe you and I'm sorry for my response..." I paused. I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't want to say what I was going to say. "But I don't think this will be okay, that it will be okay between us. It is not working between us and it is better to both go our separate ways. Tonight you will go back to the Netherlands and we have to leave Belgium again. It just does not work. I'm sorry, I wish you all the best, but that won't be with me." Then I quickly got up and walked away. Away from the table, out of the breakfast room. Away from the girl who became important to me in just one night .. I couldn't stay because I couldn't deal with how she would react. It would have broken me to see if she was sad, if she cried, if she got angry, if she, if she didn't care... I stopped walking when I got to the stairs, I was in front of the stairs, but did not go up. Was this what I wanted? Was I really going to let her go? I hadn't felt this good for ages before meeting here. Yes, we just met. Yes, she broke my heart. Yes, this sounds way too cliché. But she made me feel better. All the pressure, the uncertainty, the will to be good enough... It was all gone when I spent time with her. I could be there for her, she told me things she never talked about. All Saturday I felt so happy and good. Everyone asked me what had happened, but I always shook my head and kept walking. Then I made up my mind, I didn't want to lose her so I would go back. I turned and walked back to the breakfast room. When I got there, I saw Zak and Carlos sitting at the table. Carlos sipped the strawberry-banana smoothie and they were talking. I quickly walked over to them and they both looked up when I stood next to them. "Where, where is she?" I asked, but I already knew the answer. Zak was the one who dared to answer. "You're too late, she's gone. She has gone back to her brother and friends." When I heard that, I knew she was going back to Isabelle... I hated myself. Why did I ever let her go? I cursed and kicked the table. I soon thought of following her, but I knew that was not an option. We had to get ready for the race. Olivia was probably already on the track, I couldn't go because of all the fans. "Fuck! I screwed up!" I shouted. Everyone looked up to me, but I ignored it. I sat down in a chair next to Carlos and put my head in my hands. Carlos put his hand on my back, none of us said anything. "I need to see her, I need to talk to her, I…" I said. I felt so restless and got up from the chair again. "Maybe I know where she is. I'll be back in time, promise." Before they could reply, I walked away.

I left the hotel with my jacket and phone. At first I thought about calling her, but I had to talk to her in person. And besides that, she might not even answer her phone. When we met she felt very bad, she wanted to go to the forest and take a walk. Chances were she would now too. If the story she told Zak and Carlos about that Isabelle were true, she would never go back to them, would she? Maybe to punish her or something, but only if I was important enough for that... So she wouldn't go back... At first I walked all the way along the track. I saw a few fans in the distance, so I quickly took a path into the forest. Normally I wouldn't shy away from the fans, they are very sweet and I like to take some time for them, but now I just really don't have time there. Sure, sometimes it is too much and I'm done with it, you don't have much privacy. Some fans go really far and do weird things to get in touch, but overall the fans are fantastic! I walked on unnoticed. I almost gave up when I arrived at a parking lot. Luckily all the fans were already on the track, so no one could notice me. I turned around slowly, but then I saw someone in the corner of my eye. At first I thought it was a fan, but when I looked up I saw it wasn't, not at all… Olivia was standing next to a red Ford Ka. She had some luggage with her and the whole car was full of bags. My heart started to beat faster and I wanted to walk over to her. I wanted to tell her how stupid I am. Telling her not to leave. I'll be there for her to make everything right. That I needed her, that I wanted her... Then I saw a guy standing next to the car. He was a little taller than Olivia, he had dark brown hair and damn, he looked good. His jeans and shirt fit him very well. You could see the muscles in his arms, without it being too much. They were talking and I forgot to breathe as he pulled Olivia closer. They hugged each other and she leaned her head against his chest. He held her tight and kissed her head. His arms were around her, she crawled closer to him… I couldn't look at them for a second. When I walked away, I felt so much that I had no idea what I was feeling. I was angry, I felt used, she had hurt me, I might have hurt her too, but damn... She had a boyfriend when we met and as she became important to me... Girls never become important to me in such a short time, but this girl, she's different. She's so special, but she doesn't see it herself. She only sees the bad things, she thinks she is only bad. I don't know everything, but I really think she's not doing well and a lot has happened to her. Hopefully that guy will treat her right and give her what she deserves because that's so much. I felt like I was falling off my pink cloud. Why did I protect her? Why did I think about her this way? She was nice when we met, but she's not that nice at all. She cheated on me, she hurt me, she just wanted attention and money. She wouldn't get any of those things, at least not from me. All the best for her and that stupid boyfriend of hers, but I didn't want anything to do with them. Not in the slightest.

It doesn't matter that I completely agree with myself about Olivia… I couldn't think about anything else for the rest of the morning. I've never pushed so hard during a warm-up, that was the only way I could release my anger and pain at this point. I was so dedicated. All my exercises were performed more diligently than ever before. I had hit harder during the box exercises, dodged faster. My concentration was so bad when I had to get into the car. Normally only the race counts and I don't think about anything else when I'm in the car with my helmet on. Today was completely different. I couldn't concentrate, in the formation lap I almost parked my car in the wall… I felt so bad, almost sick. I got hot, was a little nauseous, but I didn't want to give in. This was for the team, I wouldn't disappoint them, I couldn't disappoint them. The five red lights started to burn and I stared at them. I started P9, Stroll and Perez for me. This was the moment, no time for anything else, me, my car... The fourth lamp was on, the fifth too. Soon after, all five of them went out and we all went. It was like the cars had a magical effect on me, the adrenaline was there in a split second. I was finally able to silence my thoughts and do what I had to do. Olivia was gone during the race, her stupid friend had disappeared too. "Well done Lando! P7, P7." Will said to me. "That was a nice ride." I didn't say much and felt very tired. "Thanks Will, thanks everyone." Slowly we drove back to the pits. "What was going on before the start? It didn't look like you were feeling well, did it?" He asked. "It's going well enough." I answered and then turned off the radio. I wanted to be alone. I did everything we needed to do as quickly as possible. When my car was parked and I had weighed myself, I went to my room with a bottle of water. My room felt like a safe place and I lay down on the small sofa. I took a sip of the water, wanted so badly to hit something, to break something. Someone knocked on the door, which made me look up. I didn't feel like talking to anyone and was about to yell at the person to leave when Carlos entered the room. I lay down again and Carlos sat down in a chair in the corner. "What's going on? I know something happened, you never act like that." He said and he also drank some water. He hadn't run the race because he couldn't start, but he also looked a little sweaty. When I realized he had watched the race from the pit wall I smiled a little, it was almost 30°C outside. "Olivia has a boyfriend, she cheated on me, I've never meant even a tiny bit to her and I think that they left Belgium." I said, I really sounded like a toddler, but I didn't care. "What? Are you sure?" Carlos asked me. He ran a hand through his hair in a way only he could. "I saw them in a parking lot. They hugged and he kissed her. I mean how clear do you want it to be?" I got up and walked across the room. From one wall to the other, over and over again. "Please sit down, you're making me nervous." I did as he said, but I couldn't sit still for long. Within a minute I gave up and got up again. I had to move or I would go crazy. Carlos also got up and stood in front of me. He put his hands on both of my shoulders, he looked me in the eye. "You deserve so much better than this girl. She doesn't treat you the way you should be treated. She's an idiot and has no idea what she did to you. She doesn't deserve you! Okay? You know what I'm saying? Faith? Do you understand me?" I nodded. "You don't. I've known you longer than today. You undermine yourself, find others more important than yourself. That's really not true, Lando! You are so much better than you realize, you are worth so much more." He was right about that. I couldn't think of her in a bad way, but on the other hand. I was broken. Did my mother mean this with heartbreak? Can you actually be heartbroken without love? "I'm trying to hate her, but it's harder than it sounds." I told Carlos. He slowly shook his head. "Shit man, you really care about her no matter what she did. And you're jealous of that boyfriend, aren't you?"
"You're right again, you always are." I answered without looking at him. "I'm jealous indeed, I'm so stupid. I pushed her away. I never should have. She means something to me... I can't describe it but yeah... yeah I'm hurt, yeah I regret what I've done, and yeah I'm so terribly jealous..."

I hope you liked that this part was written from Lando :) I'm sorry if it wasn't as good as other parts, but I'm used to writing from Olivia. It was a bit difficult to write from Lando, also because I don't know how he thinks. I hope it wasn't that bad and that you enjoyed reading it! Maybe I'm going to write some other parts from Lando, but most of it will still be from Olivia !! Let me know what you thought of this chapter and what you think of the idea of ​​writing from Lando too sometimes :) Lots of love and all the best for all for you xx