Einron: A lifetime of Regret

Part 15: Viejas Cicatrices, No Olvidadas

Old Scars, Not Forgotten

Months went by, living life, more of the same old same old from their day-to-day life. 

Ein laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling. 12a.m. He rubbed the scar trailing down his bare chest. It still hurt every time he relived that moment, it'd burned into his brain. His mind refused to forget the moment, every waking detail replayed in his dreams. From the jagged claw that buried itself in his chest, to the breathless feeling of relief he finally felt as he slammed into the boardwalk. "That was a perfectly good hoodie," he mumbled, recalling how the Ultima ripped his claw through its zipper. It was his favorite hoodie. 

He recalled many things from his time in slavery but very few stayed with him for long after he that god revived him. With his own body back, he didn't have the time to remember such trauma, occasionally he'd stub his toe, or he'd accidentally bump into someone, or he'd smell something that'd take him back to what felt like an eternity ago. He stood beside a man he loathed with every living fiber of his being. 

A memory came to mind, as he stood in an office at the foot of Micheal's desk, staring across the room at a wall. Waiting for his next command. "I don't care, make it happen," Michael yelled into the phone, "Do it or I'll make the kid 'vanish' right now! it's not like he'd defend himself. Now would he?" the other end of the phone remained silent for a few seconds before they finally answered, "Good, that's what I like to hear," he placed the phone down, glancing back up at Ein, "Bring me a coffee."

"Yes, sir," he walked over to a coffee pot in the corner of the room atop a counter. 

He followed closely behind Ein, uncomfortably close. As Ein turned back around with the coffee, Michael's hand swatted the cup out of his hand, smashing it against the wall, "That was your father, go down there immediately to give him some motivation."

"Yes, sir," he saluted, turning to leave. The burning ache of his skin cried as he walked away, still wet from the coffee that'd spilled all over him. A big brown stain seeping into his plain white dress shirt.

An odd memory, just as odd as the entirety of his life. He rolled over, clasping Aaron's hand in his. He recalled so many memories since he first reunited with his Alpha, and just like Ein, Aaron had recovered some of his own memories,  yet he never shared any of the ones with Ein in them, likely a meager attempt at preserving his mental image of his Ein, not the barbaric murderer who craved revenge. 

Ein rubbed his thumb along Aaron's palm, back and forth, it was all he could do to relax at the moment. Slowly, he climbed out of bed, making his way toward the row of windows peering outside. Pale glistening snow fell outside, cascading over everything like a blanket. 

He recalled a time where he once lived in such conditions, eternally cold, he recalled a time when he lost everything in such conditions, he recalled a time when the snow piled atop his unconscious body, slowly bleeding out, risking hypothermia just to get revenge, it wasn't worth it. 

Soft arms wrapped around him, blanket draping over him, "Come back to bed," Aaron whispered into Ein's ear, resting his head on Ein's shoulder. 

"Sorry, I was just..."

"Lost in thought? Couldn't sleep? Micheal's on your mind?" the three excuses he always gave Aaron.

He sighed, "Yeah, all of the above."

"Just like usual," he muttered, bringing a hand to Ein's cheek, slowly tilting it to look into his eyes, "Come on," he smiled, cradling Ein's hip. Icy floorboards creaked beneath their feet as they made their way to the bed, sitting down on the edge. His fingers trailed up Ein's bare back, settling on his shoulders. "Talk to me," he murmured, slowly massaging both shoulders. 

"It's just... every time I try to sleep, I remember something I wanted to forget. For 14 years I remained trapped in my own mind and I just want to forget all of it. The only thing I have to show for it is saving you from a loveless marriage."

"You make me sound so small... am I not enough?" he raised an eyebrow.

He chuckled, "No, you're everything to me, you're all I could ask for... but I still wish I coulda done more with it," he sighed, "My life coulda been so much more... instead I nearly killed you and your friends."

"Well, that wasn't you... remember?"

"I know... but it was my body."

He stopped massaging Ein's back, leaning over his shoulder, "You can't keep blaming yourself for what Micheal forced you to do."

"I know, but-"

"No buts, you can't Ein, that wasn't you so stop treating it like it was."

"It's not that simple, Aaron. You wouldn't understand-"

"Then help me, help me understand why it can't be that simple?"

"I just... I can't help but feel ashamed... guilty... responsible for everything that happened. It wasn't my choice to be a test subject, but I still coulda tried resisting the potion... like Aph did."

"You didn't have someone you were trying to protect, you didn't have anyone who loved you."

"That's... fair..." he frowned.

"Come on," he tilted Ein's head toward his, "Smile for me."

He smirked, "I don't deserve you."

"You deserve every ounce of me."

He chuckled quietly, gently nudging Aaron's shoulder. "Close your eyes, I have a gift for you."

"What good is closing my eyes gonna do, I'm blind?"

"You can still see dull outlines, can't you?"

"Fine," he chuckled, placing his hands over his eyes.

Ein stood up, hovering a hand over Aaron's hands.