Out of His League: Book Two (18+)

Chapter Sixty-Four

Phoenix

As soon as Ryder and I walked through the door of Jesse's room, his face twisted in surprise. He adjusted in his bed, looking like he was in a lot of discomfort. Both of his legs were in casts, the top of his head was wrapped up in a bandage, his eyes were bruised and swollen, and his left arm was in a splint. I'm honestly shocked that the guy can talk straight. If that were me, I'd want someone to knock me the hell out so I didn't have to feel the pain I know he feels.

We stood a few feet from him on either side of his bed.

"Damn...you look like shit," Ryder spoke in his usual joking manner, giving him a small half-smile.

"Really, Ry?" Lily rolled her eyes as she stood by the back wall beside Scarlett.

"I feel like shit, so I don't doubt that for a second," Jesse said through a quiet chuckle.

There was an awkward silence for a moment as we tried to figure out how to even talk to Jesse again when it didn't involve anger or yelling. We didn't come here to fight or start anything. I mean, the guy already looks like he got the hell beat out of him.

It's a shitty feeling when you look at someone that used to be one of your closest friends and now only see a stranger. Who is the real Jesse? Is he truly like his stepdad, or is the one we all considered family the true version of him? It's almost like mourning someone. He's still alive, but the guy we used to know is dead. And even if the old him came back, it would be too late because there is no erasing the damage he caused. He severed the ties between us for good...there is no way to put them back together.

"How are you feeling?" Scar began to break the silence.

Jesse swallowed dryly. "Honestly, I'm only doing alright because of the meds. When I first woke up after surgery, I didn't know what was going on and why I was in excruciating pain. I ended up passing out, and while I was unconscious, they upped the pain meds in my IV. If I had to feel that pain again constantly, I would beg them to knock me out until I could leave this damn hospital."

I slightly tilted my head. "When do you get to leave? Do you know?"

Jesse's eyes moved down, staring at the floor. "I don't know. They said I could be in here for a couple months."

"Months?" Ryder's forehead creased. "What about school? What about..."

"Baseball?" Jesse finished his question with a gutted look. "Ryder, I have a shattered femur and broken tibia. I barely have all the feeling in my arm. I'll be lucky if I can even fucking walk normal again."

My stomach twisted into a knot after knowing the severity of his injuries. "Don't decide the fate of your future without trying everything you can to get stronger and back to where you want to be. It's possible."

He looked over at me with furrowed brows, clenching his teeth as his eyes became watery. "Don't try and give me hope, Phoenix. You and I both know that I'm fucking screwed. My baseball career ended before it even started."

Ryder shook his head. "No, it hasn't ended yet, but with that bullshit clouding your mind, then it might as well be. It makes you sound weak. You give everything you wanted up because you aren't strong enough to push through any obstacle in your way."

"Shut up," Jesse snapped at his words that were like a slap to the face with the harsh truth.

"No," Ryder said. "You've been a selfish bastard and pushed away every fucking person that was there for you. You broke the girl that loved you. You gave up the only people that ever gave a shit about you just to make it to the top. Now you're telling me you're just going to give up and call it good?" He scoffed. "You made your choice about what really mattered when you betrayed us for the sake of your fucking baseball career. The minute you walked out on our pack...our family, there was no coming back. There won't be a day where you will be welcomed back with any open arms. You get to live with your mistakes now for the rest of your life," The room was filled with awkward tension as Ryder's voice raised. "And maybe someday...not any time soon...but someday I will forgive you for all the shit you did and said to every single one of us. What I won't ever forgive is you not fighting with everything you have to be the ball player you talked about. If you give it all up now, then you're just showing the world that you don't deserve to walk out on that field again. Even if you end up never being able to play again, at least make sure you can take pride in that you fucking tried. If you gave it your all, then you can walk out of here with your head held high, proving us wrong that you aren't some spinless asshole."