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Three months ago
The dim lights shown over my face as I stood up in front of everyone in the room with me and I took a deep breath resting my arms on the podium.
"Hello, my name is Sevyen Lennox and I am a drug addict."
"Hi Sevyen." Everyone in the room greeted me back including Ginger.
"You know I was told one time that I would have to write a testimony and when that was said to me I had no clue what it meant. Now after being here for a month I think I understand now that it means me talking about my truth right here, right now."
"We as humans start off so young and naive. Before I used to say I'd do anything just to be a kid again but for what in my case? I took my first drug at ten years old when my brother went to the hospital cause he had been stabbed and I remember feeling free and I didn't worry. He got better, but I didn't I just remember telling myself I never wanted to feel that sad again and without the drugs I was nervous and anxiety ridden. My mom put me into therapy and she was told there's a possibility I have all these multiple issues that started before my brother was even hospitalized."
"When I was 14 I tried to commit suicide for the first time, woke up in the hospital confused. The doctor told me I overdosed on Xanax and I was lucky to be alive, but I didn't feel lucky. I just wondered why. I thought with the support of my mother and brother things would be better but when I was 18 my brother died and shit just hit the fan as you can see cause now here at 21, I brought myself to rehab."
"Never did I cope properly with his death and admittedly I still haven't, I can't say his name and thought of him hurts entirely too much. The drugs became the solution to everything and day after day, a pill and some smoke would find its way into my system and at the time I thought that was happiness and it wasn't. . .that was my depression in full effect." I sighed looking around trying not to cry and at my timer, I still had to talk for eight more minutes.
"I met someone these past couple of months, who I didn't realize I should've tried so much harder with and for. He despite when we first met is actually a very wise person and the advice and things he told me is something that pushed me to find help and I'll always remember. At some point we got closer and then even closer. It was a connection I never experienced before and I will certainly regret losing, but grateful for knowing.
This person is someone I'm sure that if I had a second chance with I'd definitely try harder to open myself to him. Now however I hope he finds someone who deserves his effort and time and I will become a better version of myself so that if I ever get the chance to experience something like that again. I won't inadvertently mess it up."
