The Last One (young justice/robin)

39. the nothingness

My oldest memory.

Being swaddled in the dark. A soft nursery rhyme about a never ending field of flowers. Flowers that were tall, short, sweet, tart. Flowers that could bloom for eternity in every color.

She held me tight and hummed each lyric. The world would stop spinning just for a short moment.

"It will be okay. I will keep you safe." 

Blüdhaven
May 30, 05:57 EDT

I woke up to sunshine spilling in from a window, warming my face. Then I remembered everything that happened, and the room turned cold. 

Lying on my back, I could think of nothing but Neretha's aimless eyes, her bleeding body slouched in my grasp. It suffocated me; convinced me I was drowning with no chance of reaching the surface.

My body shot up, only for sharp pain to crawl across my middle. I winced and it echoed through the room.

With fingers wrapped in splints, I gripped my stomach, and slowly got to my feet. I staggered immediately, carrying my weight for the first time in I am not sure how long. 

Every unsteady step led me closer to the bathroom, until I turned the light on and looked in the mirror. I made eye contact with myself, completely repulsed. 

I stared at the skeleton of a girl who used to seem young, vibrant even. She was gone; replaced by graying skin and sunken eyes. 

It was like looking at a stranger. Then again, I am a stranger to myself. 

I could not bear to look at myself longer, and I was not strong enough to break the mirror. So, instead I turned the lights out and hobbled to elsewhere in the warehouse. 

It was filled with fragments of a puzzle I struggled to put together. Clothes were strewn about every piece of furniture. Phones, magazines, and game consoles littered the floor, along with unfinished cups of coffee and pizza boxes.

"What happened to this place?"

Mayilean came out first, even though I had not meant for it to. I keep getting confused over which language I am trying to speak. My mind tells me to speak English, but somehow my heart translates it into my native tongue. 

I moved past the unkempt floor, up to a desk and all its monitors. There were torn sheets of paper; each one filled with scribbled series of numbers. Coordinates. They spilled over the table's surface and onto the floor. 

What grabbed my attention most, though, was the picture frame on the desk corner. I picked it up, stared at it closely. 

It was a picture of myself smiling at the camera, while he held my waist and kissed my cheek. 

I look so... happy.

How could I seem so happy, when the mere glimpse of him made my skin boil with rage? 

To think that I am standing in his place, wearing his clothes... A cloud of betrayal and heartbreak overcame me, one so far beyond my control. It swallowed me without explanation until I was frantic, grabbing the first possible weapon I could think of. 

There was a bottle on the coffee table, still half full. I grabbed it by the spout, smashing the bottom off as orange soda and glass puddled at my feet. 

I whimpered in fear of how angry I had become. 

"He left you," was all I could make sense of. "He left you to die. He never loved you." 

My lungs shuddered air in and out too quickly, threatening to burst with my heart that was being squeezed from every side. 

"I am so scared," I admitted, even though Neretha could not hear me. I told her again, "I am so scared."